


The Awakening

by ThomE_Gemcity_06



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating/Affair, Drama, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Friendship, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Leadership, Loyalty, Post-injury, Season 1 to mid Season 2, Spoilers, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8210252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThomE_Gemcity_06/pseuds/ThomE_Gemcity_06
Summary: Rick awakens to find a changed world and realizes that nothing has been what it seemed all along—But there was one constant that he could always count on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **This fic contains spoiler for both season 1 and to about mid 2?; this fic usually follows the shows storyline but some things will be changed or switched around.**
> 
> **This Contains: violence, language, gore and sexual situations. Heartbreak and love, companionship, betrayal.**
> 
>   **In all likelihood, it's gonna be intense (I hope). Also includes my My Original Character: Junior Deputy Jamie Craig; she will be a main character along side Rick. Includes Rick/Jamie in the end.**

Junior Deputy Jamie Craig followed close behind Senior Deputy Officer Shane Walsh at a low crouch with her 9mm drawn. The hospital hallways were filled with bodies, both dead and alive. Some were soldiers, some were doctors, others patients. When the virus spread, the military came along with it. It started barely a month ago, but it was like wildfire. The government wasn't even trying to find a cure anymore, just taking out the bodies that were vulnerable to the virus.　

That meant patients who couldn't help themselves—that meant Rick.　

The hall was filled with smoke and gunfire, the sound of death and bodies hitting the floor. The halls were crowded and they had to stay right next to the wall out of sight or they'd become a target too. They'd been lucky thus far, maybe because the hospital was in chaos or it could have been the fact that they were in uniform too.　

Shane found Rick's room. With her smoked filled eyes, Jamie would have missed it if Shane hadn't grabbed her arm and jerked her into the room along with him. She shut the door fast and locked it, wiping the smoke-tears from her eyes. When she turned back around it was to find this big open room with a single bed to the side.　

Shane was already next to Rick's bedside, his shotgun leaning against the foot of the gurney. Jamie holstered her gun for the moment.

Rick was pale. It caused the darkness of his curly hair and the stubble on his chin and cheeks to stand out in stark contrast. The bruises around his eyes were shaded and his cheeks were slightly sunken in. He was hooked up to multiple machines and IVs, wrapped in a gown and tucked under a thin blanket.　

Shane stood over him for a second before he leaned down on the mattress, his hands supporting his weight as he got in real close to Rick's face.

"Come on, man. You gotta wake up. If you're gonna do anything, now's the time, Rick. Think about Lori, about Carl. You gotta wake up for them, man, you just gotta." Shane preached through his teeth.　

He stared intently down at Rick for a moment, so intently Jamie found herself holding her breath. But nothing happened, Rick still lay comatose.

Shane let out a growl of frustration, jerking himself upright.

The activity in the hall seemed to be dying down.　

"How do you suppose we move him?" Jamie asked, taking a step forward.

"How important do you think these machines are?" Shane asked, fiddling with one said machine.　

"Well... The IVs are probably pain killers and his only source of nutrients. And that machine’s monitoring his heart." Jamie explained, now at the foot of Rick's bed.

"So... they important?" Shane asked again.　

"I don't know!" Jamie returned. "I'm an officer not a doctor."　

"You're s'posed to be the smart one," Shane told her in frustration.

"We could probably just take it all with us." Jamie told him.　

"How do you suppose we do that?" Shane raised his brows at her. "The elevators are out. You think you can carry all this?" he gestured to all the stuff hooked up to Rick.　

"No," Jamie answered reluctantly. "I guess that we could probably leave the heart monitor behind and just take the IVs with us."

"Right, check outside first. See if it's clear." Shane told her.

Jamie unholstered her gun just in case and unlocked the door, opening it just a crack. She peeked through and didn't see anyone in the halls with her limited view. Opening it a little wider, she poked her head through. The hall was clear of any people, alive, dead or the living-dead. There were charts and scattered gurneys everywhere though. She pulled back into the room and closed the door carefully.　

"It's clear," she confirmed. "But we should move fast in case any of those military bastards come back."　

"OK, then." Shane muttered to himself as he slipped his arms underneath Rick's inert form. One under his shoulders and the other under his knees. He lifted, getting Rick a few inches off the bed before the monitor started beeping erratically. "Sonovabitch!" Shane cursed and quickly set Rick back down, but not before he flat-lined.

"Jesus, Shane!" Jamie yelled, rushing back over to the bed.　

"Hey!" Shane snapped at her. He turned to the machine and gave in a smack, that solved nothing but caused the screen to flicker and go black. Shane turned to Rick. "Come on, buddy." He put his ear to Rick's chest, trying to hear a heartbeat. He and Jamie both held their breaths. It was a few seconds of panic before Shane stood up and let out a breath. "It's still beatin', but faint."　

Jamie let out an explosive breath of relief, she wasn't sure what she'd do if they lost Rick now.　

"So what are we supposed to do if we can't move him?" she asked.

Shane lifted his head and stared at her.　

"No," she told him. Shane continued to look at her silently. "We are not leaving him here to die, Shane!" she exploded.

"There's no other choice, Jame. We can't move him and we've already been here too long as it is." Shane told her as gently as he could.

Jamie wouldn't have it. "He's your friend, your brother. He's _my_ friend and I'm not going just leave him here!" she was in his personal space, he let her get it all out.　

"I know how you feel about him, okay?" Shane told her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Jamie didn't know when or even why, but she'd fallen in love with Rick Grimes long ago.　

He stared at her, sympathetic. "But he would not want you to risk your life trying to save him when we can't."　

Jamie clenched her jaw, shoving the tears back. "I'm not leaving." She told him firmly.

"Jamie, quit acting like a kid." Shane told her.

"I'm not being childish right now. This is a smart move." Jamie told him, stepping from his reach. "I stay here and protect Rick until he wakes up, and you go and take Lori and Carl like we planned."　

Shane clenched his jaw for a moment; he didn't like the idea of splitting up anymore than he liked the idea of leaving Rick. But he did have to admit that what Jamie was saying was valid. She may be a Jr. Deputy and younger than both he and Rick, but she knew how to take care of business and was loyal to a fault. Her staying here and protecting Rick was better than his plan of leaving him because he couldn't be moved. There was also the fact that now Lori wouldn't try and come for Rick when she knew that Jamie was here with him.　

"Whaddya have in your bag?" Shane spoke and Jamie knew that he was in agreement.

Jamie couldn't help the grin that flashed across her lips. "I’ve got everything. If there was one thing that I was made for, it was this world."　

Shane wasn't even going to acknowledge the tone in which she said it. "You got radios? Give me one."　

Jamie knelt down next to the duffle that she had brought with her, it took her a second but she found the two walkies. She made sure that they were on the same frequencies before she handed one to Shane.

"We'll stay in contact with these," he told her, "The batteries on these things suck so we'll only use them for emergencies. Say, every other sun up?"

"Righty-o!" Jamie gave him a thumbs up.

"I'd say it was just your nerves acting up, but who am I kidding?" Shane muttered to himself as he grabbed his shotgun, and clipped the radio onto his belt.

Shane looked down at Rick for a moment, of all the times that his friend had to get shot. He turned away and strode to the door, knowing that if he stayed here any longer then he wouldn't be able to make himself leave again— despite his commitment to Lori and Carl.

"Try not to get eaten," Jamie told him.

Shane smirked over his shoulder at her. "I could say the same." He pulled open the door and disappeared into the hall and out of sight.　

Jamie made sure that the door was shut and locked tight before she turned to Rick. "Looks like we're gonna be in this for the long run." She sighed.　

She was committed to doing this, but that didn't mean there wasn't going to be any hardships along the way— especially with this post-Apocalyptic environment.

**tWD**

Jamie didn't know how long she was going to be stuck in this hospital room, but she knew that it wasn't going to be short. She wasn't a doctor and it didn't matter how many times she looked at Rick's chart she couldn't make heads or tails of it. She had no idea when or if Rick would wake up, he'd already been in a coma for nearly a month now and she wasn't sure he was quite ready to wake up yet.

She'd made camp in his room, thanking a lot of people that his room had a bathroom. She didn't have everything that she would have liked in her duffle, thinking that she and Shane would be in and out with Rick, so she didn't pack everything that she could have. But she knew how to survive, this was her type of situation.

She'd already had a few check-ins with Shane, but there was nothing new to report. Him, Lori and Carl were on the move, the three of them were fine and surviving, heading towards the city.　

She busied herself with taking care of Rick. She cleaned his gunshot wound and changed the bandages, and having to frequently — much to her distaste — empty out his catheter bag. She's had to leave the room and scavenge a few things from the hospital; medical supplies and IV bags. She gave him a lighter quality of pain killers, hoping that the pain might wake him up.　

It had yet to show results.　

There wasn't any walkers roaming the halls — calling them Zombies didn't make it seem real enough — but there were these double doors by the stair exit that were barred and chained shut. Spray-painted on them was the warning: **_DON'T OPEN/DEAD INSIDE_**. Jamie shook her head; nothing stayed dead anymore.　

She blocked the room door from the outside with a stalled gurney. It wasn't much, but at least it would give her a little warning if the walkers did happen to find them. And she'd long since been surviving on vending machine goods.

**tWD**

Jamie had been here for about a month, the radio's been dead for a week — she hasn't had contact with Shane. She had started to worry now; _if Rick hasn't woken up now, was he ever going to_? She quickly brushed the thought from her mind; she wasn't even sure how she could think that. This was Rick Grimes; he'd never give up, he was a fighter.

She'd talk to him, muttering under her breath for him to hurry up already so that they could get out of this place. And of course Rick didn't respond. He'd been shot in the chest — through his vest — with a shotgun just under his heart. Jamie hadn't been there, she wasn't sure what she would have done. She cared for Rick — he had been her training officer — probably more than she should for her boss and a married man. Rick obviously didn't know, but Shane did.

That wasn't the point; she shouldn't be dwelling on those things. Rick was alive when that shot should have killed him and he was going to wake up. Jamie could feel it; soon, he was going to wake up soon.

**tWD**

She was right.　

Rick did regain consciousness the next morning, unfortunately she hadn't been in the room when it happened.

He shook his head from side to side on the flat pillow; his whole torso was killing him. He'd been shot, that much he was sure and it explained the pain. Then, Shane and a vase of flowers. Shane and flowers were one thing that didn't belong together. He cracked open his eyes, the morning sunlight that shone through the window was bright. His vision filled with the vase of flowers, but when he eyes focused he saw that the flowers were wilted and dead. He didn't understand, Shane was just here, wasn't he?　

Rick fumbled around the bed for a minute before finding the nurse's call button. He pressed it a few times, calling out, "Nurse? Nurse!" But there was no answer and no one came to his aid.

He forced himself to sit up, it was rough. His arm held to side against the wound, the slight pressure actually taking a little of the pain away.

"Nurse?!" He called again, not understanding why no one was coming.　

He stumbled to his feet, grabbing a hold of the IV stand to help hold himself upright. His grip was knuckle-white as he wheeled around the room. He saw a makeshift bed near the wall made from sheets and near to that was a bag that he recognized; a sheriff's bag. That didn't make any sense; it looked like someone was squatting in his hospital room.　

For the moment he would leave it, he just wanted to something for the pain.

Slowly, he made his way to the door.

**tWD**

Before the sun had started to come up, Jamie had ventured from the room once again. Rick's room was on the fifth floor, and she had long since used all of its resources. She didn't want to go to another level and leave Rick that exposed and vulnerable, but it needed to be done. When Rick woke up, she wanted to stocked up and ready to move.　

So she was either going have to go up a floor or down a floor. She had decided that going up would be better, if only for the fact that if she had to hurry, kick up some dust, it would be easier to jump down a flight of stairs than jump up them.　

The fifth floor was clear of any _roaming_ walkers as far as she was aware, but the sixth floor was unexplored. She couldn't help but feel that flutter in her stomach at the possible prospect of some action.

She was cautious opening the door that led to the sixth floor, her knife out instead of her gun. The resounding echo of a shot going off would be disaster; the walkers are attracted to sound and something like that... If there were any walkers up here, she would soon know.

The sixth floor was a mess just like the fifth and Jamie was going to assume the whole hospital as well. She carefully picked her way through the mess on the floor, checking each room and using a pillow case to stash her supplies; Bandages, med-kits, pain-killers, any food that she could find from the vending machines and some scrubs for Rick to wear. She had everything, but it was at the police station. She didn't plan on staying here for this long, and it wasn't as if she could leave Rick to get it.　

She was on her way back to the stair exit when she heard something coming from behind the nurse's station desk. She came to a standstill, breathing shallowly. She kept her eyes trained at the desk as she lowered her goods to the floor and pulled her knife from her belt. The hilt was four inches long, the blade five inches, sharp and smooth edged. Her grasp on it was firm but not tight or clutching.　

Jamie cleared her throat, there was movement and she felt a thrill go through her. There was a long, drawn out groan that was patent to the walkers. A dirty, decaying hand slapped down on the edge of the desk, then another and the walker clawed up to its feet. Jamie was expecting a nurse and that was what she got. It was a woman, she had brown hair tied into a bun, she was in her thirties and clad in dirty, torn scrubs. Her flesh was no longer whole and pink, but instead torn, rotten and a gray-green colour. There was no longer any whites to her eyes, but instead were nearly the same colour as her skin, the irises looking yellowish and crystallized.

The groaning and grunting was constant, as was the snapping of teeth and the reaching of arms. It stumbled out from behind the counter and started towards its goal; Jamie.

These were not like zombies in the movies. They didn't chant 'brains', and they didn't generalize in their meal choices. They wanted to eat you, all of you until there was nothing left. It was the bite that did you in, not the tearing apart. And the only way to make sure that the dead stayed that way, was to deal the death blow.

Jamie met the walker halfway, plunging her knife through the skull before it could even extend its arms fully. With their first death, came the deterioration of their bodies and bone — that was really the only reason she was able to get past the skull and into the brain, ending its useless life for good. Destroying the brain was the only way to go.　

The walker dropped to the ground and Jamie jerked her knife free, finding something to wipe it off with before putting it back in her belt. She glanced at the downed walker before grabbing her pillowcase and continuing on to the stair exit.　

She passed the walker double doors on the fifth floor, and stopped just halfway down the hall.　

"Rick!" She blurted loudly, louder than she intended. At the sound of her voice, the walkers behind the doors around the corner groaned and started to bang around.　

Rick was outside the room door, the bed pushed out of the way. He had on the gown, looked pale as hell and in pain, using the IV stand to hold himself up. He turned to her at the sound of her voice. His brows furrowed.

"Jamie?" his voice cracked.

Jamie started walking again, her heart fluttering like crazy. She knew that he was going to wake up, she never lost faith. A grin was making its way across her lips, but then her eyes widened when she saw a walker approaching behind him. It was oddly silent, creeping along. This time it was a doctor.　

Jamie dropped the pillowcase and started to run to Rick like she'd never run before. Rick could only watch in confusion as she pulled her knife from her belt and jumped onto the gurney. Never breaking in her stride she ran across it and jumped at the walker who was now only a few feet from Rick. She tackled it, her knife coming around and plunging into the base of its skull. As it collapsed to the ground dead, Jamie rolled off of it and landed into a crouch before she popped up, tucking the knife back in her belt.　

Rick stared at with wide-eyes, the pale blue of his irises standing out in contrast to his pasty white skin covered in a layer of sweat from the effort of trying to hold himself up right and not pass-out.

"What the hell are you doing outta bed?" Jamie demanded. She walked around the gurney and to Rick.

"What just happened?" Rick questioned faintly. "And what's wrong with this place?"　

"I'll tell you, but you have to get back into bed." Jamie instructed.　

Still messed up about what just went down, Rick couldn't comply quickly enough.

Jamie grabbed the pillowcase before she moved the bed back in front of the door. She glanced at the dead walker, guess it must've been hiding out somewhere; thank God she'd come back when she did or Rick would have been toast. She closed and locked the door, setting the full pillowcase with the duffle.　

Rick tried to suppress the groan as he lowered himself back onto the bed, but it escaped passed his lips anyhow. He pulled the thin blanket around him, not for the fact that all he had on was a gown, but because the layer of sweat had chilled.　

"What is going on, Jamie?" He demanded in a low voice. The pain was still great in his chest, and his heart pumped painfully.

Jamie dug through the pillowcase and found a bottle of pills; she also took one of the bottles of water from the stockpile. She handed Rick two tablets and poured some of the warm water into a paper cup before too, handing that to him.　

"They should help with the pain," Jamie told him. "You are in pain, aren't you?"

After a moment, he swallowed them along with the water. He _was_ in pain, but he was reluctant to take them because he didn't want his mind to be fuzzy when Jamie finally told him what was going on. And what just happened in the hall. It took a few minutes before he felt the pain in his wound mute down to a dull throb.　

"Now tell me what happened." His tone making it an order.　

Jamie would have liked to shield Rick from this, but he was still her boss and after what happened in the hall, she couldn't try and hide it now. She took the cup from him and put it on the side table next to the dead flowers.　

"After you were shot, you went into a coma. It’s been nearly two months since then. Almost two weeks after someone got sick and died from a fever, but... he didn't stay that way for long." Jamie told him.　

Rick looked at her like she was crazy or he was crazy, it didn't matter because one of them was.　

Jamie saw the look. "You saw what happened out in the hall," she told him.　

"You're telling me that that was zombie?"

"Zombie... that kinda sounds childish, me and Shane've been calling them walkers."　

"That is not possible," Rick told her, "This is not a movie, Jame. It's real life—unless I'm still in a coma and this is a dream."　

"I can assure you that it isn't." Her expression went dead serious and she stared at him unblinking, her eyes the colour of a lime.　

And Rick knew that that was her 'dead-serious/I'm not joking/this is actually happening right now' expression—this was some serious shit. He still couldn't quite grasp it, and he wasn't even sure what he saw in the hall. Only Jamie bolting down the hall with her knife pulled out, jumping over the bed and tackling what he was sure was a doctor before plunging her knife into his body. Rick never got a good look at him, it happened too quick and his body was blocked by the bed as well as Jamie. Then Rick realized that he'd been here for two months, and a basic apocalypse had happened going by the state of the hospital.

"What about Lori?" He demanded, jostling himself painfully. "Carl?"　

"They're fine," she told him. "They’re with Shane." Or at least she still hoped that that was the case; since loosing contact she wasn't sure of their condition.

　"So where are they then?"　

Jamie's face pinched together in a wince. "... Shane and I kept in contact with each other with a pair of the station's walkies; they died in about two weeks. We haven't had contact in a week."　

"Then why are we still here?" Rick made to get up but she held him down with little strength.　

"You just got out of a coma, Rick."

Rick clenched his jaw and fists. He hated that she was right, he'd barely even been able to hold himself up and even then it was with the IV stand. Not to mention he smelled worse than feet and his stomach was hollow.　

"Do you have any food?" He asked. If he wanted to find Lori and Carl, then he was going to have to get his strength back.

"I just went on a supply run." Jamie nodded, going back over to the pillowcase.

The thing about food was that she didn't initially bring any with her. She'd been surviving on candy and chips from the vending machine on this floor and the one above it. But Rick couldn't have that type of stuff, not after being in a coma for two months. The hospital cafeteria was on the main floor, there could be so many goods down there. But after what happened this morning, she was fearful of what might happen while she was four floors down or even what condition that floor was in. But somehow, by the grace of God, she'd found a can of soup.　

Taking her pocket knife from her pant pocket, she flipped it open and used the can opener. She handed it to Rick. "It's not hot, but it's better than nothing. I don't have a spoon so try not to cut yourself on the edge — blood is not good in this situation."　

Rick didn't care either way. He was starving, he didn't need a spoon! It wasn't that much, but afterward he was bloated and full. And despite the fact that the soup had been cold, he got that warm feeling that you got after a hot meal and it's cold out. And now that he was full, he was tired. Despite the fact that he wanted to stay awake — needed to— he found his eyes drooping. He was just so damn exhausted despite having just woken from a coma.　

Jamie let him, taking the can from his lax fingers and took the IV from his arm as well. Tomorrow they going to leave this place and they were going to find Shane and the others.

**tWD**

　Rick woke up with the now familiar throb of pain in his chest. The sun was just rising putting an orange glow in the sky, giving it that warm feeling but he knew that that wouldn't be the case if he got up and looked out the window. So he didn't, for now he was safe, but he knew that once he looked out that window and they left the hospital, that this would really become real.　

He pushed himself up on the bed and propped the pillows behind his back. Jamie was still asleep in her makeshift bed under the set of windows. She wasn't wearing her uniform but instead a T-shirt, a pair of cargo pants and hikers. Her belt was off and next to her with easy access.　

Jamie had come to the station two years after Rick and Shane, he had been her training officer. He was now Sheriff, Shane was his Sr. Deputy and Jamie had been promoted to Jr. Deputy a few months before Rick was shot and the Zombie-Apocalypse happened. Shane and Rick had been friends since high school, but after she'd become a full Officer of the Law she had somehow integrated herself into Rick and Shane's life and it wasn't as if they minded. For about six years now. She was brave, fearless, loyal, smart, had excellent aim and combat skills (her father was actually in the military before he was killed when she was a kid), and she was really resourceful — Jamie Craig was someone that you'd want to have your back and Rick would soon realize that in the turned world like this, it was a good thing.

"We're going to be leaving today," Jamie mumbled, an arm thrown over her eyes.　

Rick raised his brows as he looked at her, sure that she had been asleep.　

"I found a clean pair of scrubs for you to wear; your uniform was trashed so they threw them out but I found where they kept your boots." She told him, sitting up now. "Get changed and evacuate yourself."

"You telling me to go potty before we leave?" He asked her, not able to help the smile that crossed his lips.

Jamie smirked. "If you want to look at it that way." She got up and clipped on her belt, her short dark hair coming around her ears with a slight curl of bed-head.

Rick slid from the bed with a wince and padded across the floor and to the bathroom, catching the pair of blue scrubs that Jamie tossed him, and closed the door behind him.　

The hospital didn't have electricity, but there was a flashlight on the counter. He flicked it on and stood it up the edge of the counter, making it so that the beam hit the ceiling and spread through the room. He went to the bathroom, totally backed up from his two months of hibernation. He pressed the plunger and the toilet emptied out, so it would seem the plumbing worked.　

He went to the mirror, his reflection looking ghostly in the faint light of the flashlight. The pale blue of his eyes and the darkness of his curly hair made it more pronounced. He really needed a shave and could definitely use a shower. He rinsed his hands and splashed water on his face. He had dark bruises under his eyes, his cheek bone sunken in. He'd definitely lost weight and muscle mass.

Rick slipped his gown off and unable to help himself, peeled back the bandage that covered his wound. It was pretty big and he knew that only a shotgun could do. It was at least four inches in radius and very much scary-ous tissue-ous. The stitches were no longer there and it was sealed, but was totally raw. He probed it lightly with his fingers and the pain that went through him... he might have blacked-out for a second. He gripped the edge of the sink for support and when he got his breathing under control, he slipped on the scrubs.

He took the flashlight with him when he left the bathroom and gave it Jamie. She'd already packed everything up while he was in the bathroom, now having slipped on a light jacket. She'd set his boots out for him and he sat in the chair, it was rather uncomfortable to bent over that way but he didn't make a fuss; how could he survive in this new world if he couldn't take this little pain?　

"You sure you're up for this, Rick?" Jamie asked as she put all of the medical supplies that she found in the duffle with her small arsenal.

"I'll be up for anything until I find Lori." Rick told her.

Jamie felt the jab at her feeling towards him, but pushed it away; now was a time for focusing. "I'm going to give you a machete and a handgun; I don't want you to use the gun unless it’s a life or death situation." She told him. "I’ll be in front and take care of as many walkers that I can if we encounter them so you don't work yourself into another coma."

Rick nodded, but he hated feeling this helpless and useless. It was probably hard enough for Jamie to take care of herself out there, but having to watch him too? But he took the machete and strapped in around his waist and after checking the gun, tucked it in the waist-band of his scrub pants.　

Jamie put the long strap from the duffle over her shoulder and went to the door. "We’re gonna take it slow," she told Rick, hating that she was babying him. But he'd just woken up from a coma after months from being shot in the chest just barely missing his heart. And to have woken up to this hellhole alone and without his family. "There's gonna be a lot of shit out there and you just need to focus on getting back to Lori. Just a take a breath,"

Rick nodded and rested his hand on the hilt of the machete.　

She unlocked the door and pulled it open, looking down either sides of the hall to see if it was clear before she moved the bed out of the way. Finding it so, she pushed it out of the way, and turned down the hall towards the stair exit. Rick followed her out, but turned to look in the other direction, spotting the walker that she'd killed the other morning. It was a rotten body, its flesh gray and stripped from it bone. It had no lips and showed all its teeth and gums. He could smell it like a dead body and he felt sickness in his stomach. It was just like zombie from the movies, but this was real; the proof right there in front of his eyes.　

He turned away from it and forced himself to move a little faster in order to catch up with Jamie. They rounded the corner and Rick saw the chained double doors. Jamie stopped and glanced back at him as the doors rattled and were shoved outward, opening until the chain went taunt. Arms reached through with dead fingers and blackened nails; wheezes and grunts accompanying them.

"'Don't open, dead inside'." Rick read the doors. "This has been there the whole time? Just around the corner?"

Jamie waved it off. "They’re harmless." She told him. "And I kinda got used to them being there."　

Rick just stared at her for a moment. "Can we please go?"　

"Righty-o!" She gave him a thumbs up like she had with Shane before she turned around and pushed open the door to the stairs.

**tWD**

　What Rick saw when the exited the hospital was horrible. It was as if a war had gone on or something and he'd slept through it all. Hundreds of bodies — hundreds — were in piles and laid in rows with dirty sheets covering their corpses.

"Just, don't look at them." Jamie told him softly, weaving her way through the discarded bodies — they were treated like they were nothing.

And Rick did, he forced himself to not look at them. He followed close behind his friend, his grip on his machete tight.　

The streets were all abandoned, and unlike the lot at the hospital, Rick couldn't actually see any walkers around; dead or alive. He was hurting as much as he thought that he would have; going down the stairs and this exercise warmed up his body and flexed his wound.　

"We’ll go to your house first, and get some of your supplies." Jamie walked at his side, her eyes alert. "Then we'll head over to the station, that's where everything is."　

Rick nodded in agreement.

They were walking by the park when he heard it, that low groaning that he found all walkers made. He reached out and grabbed Jamie’s wrist, tugging her to a stop.　

"What?"　

"Listen." He told her quietly.　

They did, both pausing in there breath to listening more clearly. There was nothing for a few second before there was the breathless groan.

"It's coming from the park." Rick whispered in her ear.

Jamie couldn't help the shiver that she felt with Rick's breath in her ear despite the situation. She shook herself internally and pulled her knife from her belt and set the duffle on the hot asphalt.　

"There," Rick extended his arm and pointed.

Next to an over-turned bike was the walker — well, half a walker. It was a woman without the lower half of her body; just guts and spine trailing behind her as she clawed her way towards them. Jamie stepped from Rick and towards the walker; it wasn’t that much of a threat but they couldn't just leave it there for someone else who wasn't prepared to stumble upon it.　

"Wait." Rick told her.　

"We can't just leave it here, Rick." Jamie told him.　

"That's not what I said," He shook his head. "I... I want to do it."　

"What?"　

"I think I should kill it."　

"Rick..."

"If this is what the world is like, if this is what it's going to be like, I don't want to hide behind others."　

Jamie looked at him. She could see how important this was to him. "Okay."　

Rick stepped up next to her, taking out his machete.　

"What you want to do is go for the brain," she told him. "You destroy that, you destroy them. Don't let it bite you and try not to get scratched or ingest any of its fluids."　

He looked at her at that.　

"You never know, anything can happen." She reasoned.　

Rick took a breath and looked back down at the walker; it hadn't made it that far, only about three feet. He held the machete so that the blade was pointed to the ground and stepped up to the plate. He looked down at her with the hilt raised to the center of his chest; all he need do is plunge it downward and through her skull. But he made pause; she was probably only seventeen, just going for a bike ride on a nice sunny day, she probably had a mother and father, an annoying little brother...　

"You can't think of them as people, Rick." Jamie's soft voice cut through his brain and he found himself jerking the blade downward. He could feel the slight resistance of the bone before it broke through into the softness of the brain. A groan slipped between its exposed teeth for the last time. "If you do, you'll never survive."

Rick pulled the blade free and wiped the mess on the blade off on the green blades of grass. He put it back in the sheath and turned to Jamie. "How many have you killed?"　

Jamie shouldn't have been surprised by his question. "Enough to know that these aren't people, they're not human, not anymore. And that I can dominate,"　

"And you don't find it conflicting at all, not even at first?"

Jamie thought about it for a second. "I suppose that I was in too much shock at first to even realize it, then it became all about survival."　

"Survival," Rick repeated. "Do you think they're still alive?"　

"How can you even ask that? They're with Shane and you know that Lori's strong and she'll stay alive to protect Carl and to see you again."　

Rick let out a sigh through his nose and gave her a thankful smile.　

**tWD**

　When they got to Rick's house the front door was open a crack, and despite the fact that Jamie said that Shane was with Lori and Carl, he felt his heart race.　

"They're not going to be here," Jamie told them when he froze on the deck.　

She slowly pushed the door open, her knife up and ready. This house had been abandoned for months now, and who knew what was in there since then. There could be squatters and then there could be walkers who had wandered in. But there wasn't and Rick followed her in quickly, his gaze shooting around the house for any signs of his wife.　

"Rick, we need to be quick about this." Jamie told him.　

Rick shook his head. "All the family photos are gone."　

"I told you that Shane got them out of here."　

Now Rick nodded his head, now that he'd been here and knew that Lori took the photos and that had survived leaving this place, he was able to focus.　

"Okay, I need you to pack clothes and anything that you think could be useful on the road." Jamie instructed. "I'll see if I can find any food."　

Rick went up stairs and Jamie tried to find the kitchen, this was actually the first time that she'd been in Rick's house since the six years that they were friends.　

Rick grabbed a duffle from the bottom of his closet and filled it with various rolled clothing before going to the safe in the bottom of his closet. It was closed and he put in the combination, pulling the door open. It was where he kept a gun in case of emergencies, but it was missing. If the world was like this, then he hoped that Lori took it with her to protect Carl. He didn't bother to change before going back down the stairs; he wanted his uniform, knew that he wouldn't feel confident enough until he had his belt.　

When he got to the bottom he found that Jamie was already finished. Her back was turned to him and her shoulders stiff as she looked at something in her hands.　"Jame?"

"Oh!" She jerked in surprise and quickly put what in her hand into her pocket as she turned around to him.　

"Is something wrong?" He asked her.　

"Everything's a-okay. You?" She asked, clearing her expression.　

"Great. What were you looking at?"　

"Oh, that." She nodded and from the same pocket pulled out a locket. She held it up. "Just a couple of pictures," She told him.

"Sorry."　

She tucked it back in her pocket. "It's fine, they died before I joined the station." But that wasn't it at all; at least it hadn't been what she was looking at before. Tucked away in the little secret pocket was what she had been looking at, something that she'd found that didn't belong here, but she couldn't tell Rick — if it was what she thought it was, then it would destroy him and Jamie could never do that. "You ready?"　

"Yeah, let’s get out of here."

　 **tWD**

　The pair only encountered two walkers on the way the station.　

Jamie took care of the first one, a man in a black torn suit. And the other one they encountered when they arrived at the station. Leon Basset, he was an officer at the station; a real piece of work and an idiot.　

"Poor fool," Jamie muttered.　

Oddly, Rick had no qualms in shooting him dead.

Jamie unlocked the station's doors with the key from the sheriff's bag and made sure to lock it again after they were inside. She set the bag down as Rick flipped the switch for the back-up generator. The generated started to hum and the lights flickered on.　

Rick turned and grinned at Jamie, she smiled back.　

"Showers," He breathed and it felt like this was the first time that he felt a little happy since he woke up, other than finding out that Jamie was alive and at his side. He hadn't had a bath since he was shot; he'd been lying in his own sweat for two months. Jamie didn't smell that good either, it would be good for both of them.　

But the thing about the showers was the fact that there was only one big shower room like in a prison, but for the small second of wall that was boarded between each shower head. The thing about King County was that the Police Force was small, making up to about 10 men and 1 woman — that being Jamie. They had unisex bathrooms, but only one shower room.　

"You can go first," Rick told her.

Jamie look at him, her head cocked slightly to the side, unable to help the curve of her lips. "You're serious?"　

"What? You're a women and I am a gentleman—so ladies first." He reasoned.　

"We're in a post-Apocalyptic world, Rick. It's nice to know that there are still nice guys out there, but how quick do you want to find Lori?" Jamie told him.　

Rick still looked troubled.　

"Rick, we are adults here." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I'm sure that you can restrain yourself from peeking over." She gave him a pat before leaving him for the showers.　

She'd already started by the time Rick finally came in. She'd taken the very last stall, giving Rick his room and own privacy as he stripped from his scrubs and turned on the showerhead. She tried not to picture what he looked like under that spray, the water cascading down his pale skin. She coulda took a peek when he was in a coma, but that was way too perverted for her; and it had been so weird when she took out his catheter.　

She pushed it from her mind; she should never think about it, the thoughts should never enter her mind. Rick was a happily married man with a son, and Jamie was just a co-worker and friend. Nothing more, nothing less. She focused on washing herself; she didn't know when they were going to get another chance to shower.　

When they finished, Rick dressed in his sheriff's uniform, sheanother pair of her cargo pants. Unlike Rick, she felt more comfortable in her civilian clothes than her uniform.　

Afterward they ate, this time more better than Rick's first meal of cold soup when he first woke up. Then went through their supplies and weapons, weeding out the junk and keeping the needs.　

"So where are we headed?" Rick asked. He was clearly a leader, but then again he'd been in a coma for two months and she knew more than him.　

"Shane never got to go into detail about where he was going with Lori and Carl, but the safest bet would to be to head for the city. The last I heard, that was where everyone was headed. It was supposed to be designated safe-zone." Jamie told him as they put the two duffels into the back of the patrol car.　

"Then that's were we'll go." Rick nodded, getting into the driver's side.

Jamie climbed into the passenger's seat, nearly feeling at home in the squad car. "Are you sure you're okay to drive?" she asked him.　

Rick put the key in the ignition and turned it, the engine turned over. "I'm alright." He told her, putting it into drive.　

"You just woke up from a two month coma yesterday."　

"If I get tired, we'll switch." He negotiated.　

"Fine." Jamie sat back, she'd let him have this.　

**tWD**

The highway stretched long and empty and they were running out of gas, the gage hovering above the 'E'. They found a gas station, it was lucky but that turned to shit when the tanks were empty.　

"What're we gonna do?" Jamie asked.　

Rick looked across the car roof at her, he did look slightly troubled. "We're just going to have to drive until it runs out, then walk the rest of the way or find another vehicle."　

Jamie really wasn't comfortable with that. "I'm not walking all the way there," She told him. "So we better find another car; I don't want to get stranded out here at night."　

Rick nodded in agreement, but they didn't have to worry much. They found a house just a little ways from the road, only about two hours from the city. He pulled the car to a stop; the house was small and old, the truck out front wasn't in to good shape. They got out of the car.　

"Hello?" Rick called. "We ran out of gas and were wondering if you could spare some."　

There was no answer.　

"Maybe they're not home?" Jamie concluded.　

Rick glanced at her before he went up the house steps and knocked on the screen door. "Hello?" He tried again. When there was no answer he cupped his hands around his eyes and looked through the screen door. "Oh." He backed down and went back to where Jamie waited.　

"What?" She asked, seeing his expression. "Walkers?"　

"No." Rick shook his head, scratching his chin. "Looks like a murder-suicide."

"Oh, guess they took the easy way out."

Rick let out a sigh, maybe only now realizing how big and serious and real this really was. "What should we do now?"　

Jamie looked at the old truck. "Siphon some of their gas?" She suggested; Rick gave her a look. "What?" She shrugged her shoulders. "It's not a crime anymore, Rick. This is survival... and they're not going to need it anymore — and _we_ do."　

"Fine." Rick agreed, taking off his Sheriff's hat and running his fingers through his dark curls.

"Do you have the gas can? And find me some tubing." She told him as she went over to the truck and uncapped the tank.

"Here." Rick gave her some tubing that he found and set the gas can by her feet.　

Jamie put one end of the tubing into the gas tank of the truck and the other one in her mouth, before she started to suck. She did it a couple of times and usually that was all that was needed before the gas started to come up, but it didn't. She took the tubing from her mouth.

"Well?" Rick asked, watching her.　

She shook her head. "It's empty." She told him, dropping the hose and standing back up. "Guess we're gonna have to walk." She cursed.　

"Maybe not," Rick told her, his hands on his hips as he looked over her shoulder.　

Jamie turned around. "Please tell me you're kidding?"　

"Nope." He grinned.

Next to the house and in an enclosed field was a brown mare.　

**tWD**

Rick said that with the both of them, having two full duffels was going to be too much weight for the mare, so they had to decided what things they _really_ needed. Most of it was weapons and bullets, but they kept some food and medical supplies — having the extra sets of clothes didn't really have a purpose. Rick found the saddle and strapped that on the horse.　

"You've done this before?" Jamie asked nervously.　

Rick nodded as he put the toe of his boot in the saddle's stirrup. "When I was a kid." He pulled up and lifted his free leg up and over, sitting down on the mare's back.

"So not in a while then." She concluded.

Rick looked down at her. "Is the fearless Jamie Craig scared of this nice horsy?" He asked her with a smirk, patting the mare's neck to calm her.

Jamie scowled up at him. "I'm not scared," She told him. "I'm properly apprehensive." And the only reason for that was because horses were big and could kick you in the face.　

Rick took the duffle from her and set it at the front of the saddle. "It's going to be fine." He assured her, holding out his hand.

Jamie took it after a second, putting her foot in the stirrup like Rick had before. He pulled her up and she sat in the space of the saddle behind him, there wasn't much and she had to squeeze of close. She was afraid of falling and ended up gripping the sides of Rick's uniform for security. The mare stepped on the spot at the sudden extra weight.

"You're okay." Rick whispered as he ran his fingers through the mare's mane to calm her, but it was said for Jamie.

Though they were just words, they did make Jamie feel safer. This was unknown territory for her and she was glad that Rick was with her.

"Ready?" He asked her.　

"Yeah," She nodded.　

"Come on, girl." He clicked his tongue and tapped the mare's ribs lightly with his heels. The mare snorted and took off at a slow trot back down the road.　

Jamie had been fine when the horse was still, but at the sudden movement she gasped and quickly wrapped her arms around Rick’s waist and held tight. He didn't comment and she was glad for that, feeling embarrassed over something so stupid — especially with the world the way it was now.

Rick tried to focus up ahead and on controlling the mare, but he was finding it kind of hard. He loved his wife, but sometimes he couldn't help but glance at other beautiful women. Or he couldn't help that he liked — and didn't mind much — the way that Jamie was pressed flush against his back. She was a beautiful and attractive woman, there was no way that he could deny that — and he will admit that he's checked her out a few times when she wasn't paying attention. And not having had sex in a while and with the whole showering naked just a few stalls away — and now this. The feel of her b-cup pressed against his back, her hot breath at the back of his neck — and the bouncing that the mare's movement that cause her to rub up against him. And her arms around his waist...　

He took a deep breath, so it — he was starting to get a little warm.　

"There it is." She spoke in his ear.

Rick blinked and found that the city was right there in front of them. He smiled, they were finally here. He did feel a little guilty for thinking of Jamie that way, but it was pushed back. He stopped at the entrance.　

Jamie released her hold on his waist finally. "I'm going to get off now." She told him.　

"Why?" He asked over his shoulder.

"We don't know what's in there," she said. "And with me on the ground, it'll be easier if there are any walkers around."

　"Okay." Rick agreed.　

Jamie wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to demount, so she just opted for sliding off the back of the mare. She seen it in movies and it actually worked out quite fine.　

"Jeez!" She complained coming around to Rick's side. He looked down at her with raised brows. "My ass in numb." She said walking a few steps like she was holding a watermelon between her legs.　

"You get used to it," He told her, shifting in the saddle.　

"You're lying through your teeth." She told him.　

"Let's just get going." He told her, clicking his tongue and heels, turning the reins.　

Jamie followed behind him, her eyes alert as they entered the unknowns of the city.　

**tWD**

　The city was much like King County; wrecked. The streets were trashed, abandoned cars, half of them crashed. The streets were empty, abandoned — so much for everyone heading here.　

Jamie was in lead, with Rick on the mare at least fifteen feet behind her. It was easier this way in case a walker popped out, that way Jamie could take care of it rather than Rick using his gun — which was just trouble. They weren't sure if there were people hiding out here or how many walkers there could be.　

Jamie came upon a sort of road block, there was a crashed bus at an angle taking up half the road, then there was a car that had crashed into a pole, leaving only about five feet of space between the two of them.　

She turned around to Rick who had pulled the mare to a halt.　

"What's up?" He asked her, never taking his gaze from their surroundings.　

"I'm gonna scout ahead," she told him. "There's a small space that you're going to have to go through and I want to make sure that the area's clear before you through."

Rick nodded.　

Jamie pulled the machete from its case at her waist, having taken it from Rick at the entrance of the city. It was of more use to her on the ground than it was to him on the horse. She walked carefully through the gape between the bus and car, her ears and eyes peeled for the slightest of noises or movements. She was near the end of the bus when a walker came stumbling out the its door and nearly on top of her. She tried to jump back, but it was to close and the walker was on top of her, pulling her down.

" _Fuck_!"　

"Jamie?" Rick called, hearing her.

She couldn't waste her energy on answering him; she no longer had a hold of the machete, her hands too busy holding the walker off from biting a chunk out of her face. She gritted her teeth. For a rotting corpse, they sure had a lot of strength. She couldn't risk only holding it back with one hand to reach for her knife or gun, the walker barely being held back with both hands. Yet its face just inches from her own. The smell was horrible, and it saliva was a brown goo dripping from around its exposed teeth. She gagged. She couldn't go out like this; she'd just gotten Rick back for God's sake.　

Then a shot rang out and the walker fell on top of her dead. She heard the mare neigh and dance nervously on the pavement at the loud report.

"Are you okay?" Rick demanded.

Jamie shoved the dead walker off of her with disgust. She climbed to her feet and picked up the machete on the way.　

"Thanks," she said with embarrassment. A shudder went through her as she swiped at her clothes. "You saved me."

"It was the least I could do; you guarded me for two months." He told.　

"Believe it or not," she chuckled. "That was my vacation time."　

Rick sighed and shook his head. "You need a husband."　

Jamie didn't comment; it a world like this she didn't have time to marry, let alone start dating. And she didn't think that she could start a relationship when Rick was still here — when she still loved him.　

"We should probably get outta here," Jamie suggested instead. "Who knows what the sound of that shot is gonna draw."

"You coming up?" Rick asked, leaning down and holding out his hand.　

"Yeah," She nodded and grabbed his hand. He pulled her up. The city was big and who knew how many walkers occupied it, both of them on the horse would equal a faster escape were there to be an ambush. Just in case she unclipped her gun holster and gripped the sides of Rick's uniform instead of wrapping her arms around his waist.

They were halfway down the street, the bus behind them and an abandoned army tank in front of them. It looked like the military tried to destroy anything that the Virus could thrive on.

　

"So much for a safe-zone," she muttered.　

"What?" Rick turned his head.　

"Nothing," She said rather quickly. Crap. She didn't mean to say it out loud; this was one of their lead hopes of finding Shane and Lori.　

"No. It sounded like you said 'so much for a safe-zone'." Rick pulled that mare to a stop, twisting in the saddle.

"Its-- That's not what I meant, Rick." Jamie said quickly. "This was the obvious first place to search for Lori, but that doesn’t mean that it's the only place. They could have got here and found it in shambles so they moved on."　

Rick's jaw tightened and he turned back around, jerking the reins to get the mare moving again. That wasn't what went down though. While they were talking, the walkers attracted to the sound of the gunshot came hoarding in out of their notice, but the mare noticed pretty well. She neighed in pure fright and like all horses when they're frightened, they rear up on their hind legs.　

That was what this mare did, nearly vertical. Rick wrapped his arms around her neck, staying on her back while the duffle bag fell to the ground. Jamie had a similar fate. She had no real hold to stay seated and not enough time to even try and grab a hold of Rick, so she fell backwards nearly six feet to the hard pavement. The breath forced from her lungs, she groaned in pain.　

The mare landed back on all fours after kicking the air and charged through the mass of walkers in her fear with Rick in the saddle... leaving Jamie behind.　

"Jamie!" Rick screamed. He tried to tug the mare to halt, but the beast wouldn't listen — nothing could stop her until she herself decided that it was safe to stop — even if that mean leaving Jamie behind. He wanted to jump off and go back for, but for fear of getting trampled by the mare then devoured by the dozens of walkers that staggered in. He tried to look behind him, to see if he could see Jamie and how much trouble she might be in. But the swarm was too big and soon he was out, galloping down an empty street.

Faintly above the groaning that sounded as if it were coming from high-def. speakers that surrounded her, was the descent of the clip-clop of the mare's hooves — and along with them, Rick. She scrambled to her feet, her hand going to her holster, only to find it empty. The walkers were barely even ten feet from her and she didn't have her gun, the duffle even farther than that, she was alone with at least thirty walkers.

She started to back away, the back of her heel kicking her gun. She twisted around while still moving and picked it before running in the opposite direction. She found that there were other walkers in that direction as well, though few as they were. They had yet to pass the bus, and she was at the front of it.　

Jamie looked rapidly around her, panicking. She never seen this many walkers before, and never had this many been after her. She'd thought that she was going to die when that one walker had pinned her, but that was nothing like what she was feeling now. This — this was where she would end. She held up her gun, no way was she going out without a fight.

She fired off two shots, those going to the closest walkers. They fell dead. In a minute now, she was going to be gone; her back bumped against the bumper of the bus, at least Rick was safe. But then an escape plan inserted itself forcefully in her mind, walkers couldn't climb. There was no way that she could leave Rick alone, and for him to never know how she felt.　

She tucked her gun in its holster a she spun around, placing one foot on the bumper of the bus and grabbed the side mirror. She pulled herself up. Then dug the toes of her boots in the grill, then windshield wipers hoping that they didn't snap under her weight. They arrived. Jamie kicked out as she felt them at her ankles, grabbing her. Their groaning sounded excited at the prospect of having a fresh meal. That was her and there was no chance in hell she was gonna get eaten alive. Her fingers gripped the edge of the roof and she threw her leg up to where the side mirror was, hooking her foot around it. She struggled, trying to heave herself up. She hadn't used these muscles in such a long time, not since she climbed the wall in the police obstacle course. But she did it, just as the side mirror broke off. She rolled on her back on top of the roof, giving herself a second.　

She sat up and crawled to the edge, looking down. The walkers had surrounded the bus, clawing at the edges with their dead fingers, trying to get at her, rocking the bus. She was sure that they couldn't jump, and that they couldn't climb like she had, but she couldn't stay on the roof because eventually they would get to her. With this many walkers, they could tip this bus.　

Jamie looked around, trying to think of a way to get from the bus to somewhere else where the walkers couldn't get to her. And she had to do it quick, the sky was darkening as the sun went down and the streetlight didn't work. Streetlights...　

She shot around. There was the streetlight that the bus crashed into, but it was already halfway to the ground and looked totally unstable. But there was another one near, a few feet from the bus, the gap between it filled with groaning bodies. Next, she looked at the building that lined the street. She was so lucky that she found balconies stacked up the wall, the first one fifteen feet from the ground.　

She grinned, laughing a little crazily as she stood; she had to have lost some sense to even be thinking this. But this was survival and the way the world was now, you had to be a little crazy — hell, even wanting to survive in a place like this you had to have some screws loose.　

She backed up to the edge of the bus, giving her a few steps to prepare herself. She just didn't need to think about it that much. She took the few starting steps before leaping to the post, wrapping her arms and legs around it in a bear hug. After a long moment, the walkers near followed her to it. This was so not like climbing a rope, and by the time she shimmied to the top of the street light she was covered in a layer of sweat. Now it was totally dark and she had trouble seeing anything, the walkers beneath her — their groans and snapping teeth the only thing to let her now that they were still there — and she could hardly see the balconies across the walk. Only but a gleam off the dark metal indicated where they whereabouts.　

The distance between the pole and the building was about 10 feet. Jamie knew that there was no way she be able to make that with the way that she was wrapped around the pole. She reached up and felt the top of the light, thanking everything that was left in the world that it was one of the street lights that curved so that the top the relatively flat. And only then that she was going to be able to make this was if she stood on the top and then jumped.　

She pulled herself up and she didn't know how, but she managed to get up on two feet. She didn't questioned it and instead focused on balancing on this thing. It was about twenty-three feet up and if she slipped and fell, she'd probably break her leg and then there would be no escaping the walkers. She'd be done and that was it.　

The thing about being this high is that when she jumped and if she missed the balcony, there was another one underneath it. That was her only comfort.　

She bent her knees and leaned foreword, pushing off. She went through the air, her arms outstretched, her hands open. Her fingers just touched the edge of the railing, she yelled out as she fell, but that was cut off as she landed on the railing below. It cut into her ribs painfully, hurting more than when she fell from the horse. She struggled to get over the railing and exclaimed in surprise when someone grabbed the back of her belt and pulled her foreword over the railing.　

She fell in a heap, her heart beating painfully in her chest. Had Rick come back for her? She sat up and swiped the bangs from her eyes, looking up. But it wasn't Rick. In the gloom stood a shorter and younger guy wearing a ball cap, he had on a friendly smile.

Jamie pulled herself up. "Thanks," She said slowly. She hadn't seen another person other than Rick for two months, and then right when she needed it, someone was there.

"It's no problem," He insisted, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I'm Glenn," He held out his hand. She took it with hesitance. "You must be Jamie."

Jamie's gun was out of its holster and trained on him in an instant.　

"Whoa!" He held up his hands. "There's no need for that."　

"How do you know my name?" She demanded.　

"Rick sent me!"

"How do you know Rick?"

"He was wondering around the city. I couldn’t just let him get attacked by a bunch of walkers!" Glenn defended.　

"Take me to him." Jamie ordered.　

"If you quit pointing that at me, I'd be glad to." He told her.　

Jamie shook her head. "I'll put this down when I see Rick and he tells me that I shouldn't shot you."

Glenn sighed and shook his head. "Fine. Have it your way," He turned and climbed of the stair that connected each balcony.

Jamie followed, her gun trained on him. From the roof they went at least three blocks over, it was easy seeing as the buildings were so close together. From there they climbed down a side ladder, crossed the street and climbed another. Until finally, they arrived.　

"We're here." Glenn told her.　

"Then take me to Rick," Jamie told him.　

"Put the gun down."

"I'll put it down when I see Rick,"　

"I won't take you to Rick unless you put the gun down."　

"Do you think I won't shoot you?" Jamie asked him. "Because let me tell you something; today I have had three near death experiences in the span of two hours. I'm on edge, I lost my friend... and I will shoot through you." She gave him her dead-face.

Glenn clenched his jaw, his shoulders stiff. "You can't just go waving that thing around; I'm not the bad guy here."

"How am I supposed to know that?" Jamie asked. "The worlds gone to shit; it changes people. Maybe you were a good once, maybe you still are. But I don't know you, so therefore you are my enemy until proven otherwise. In this instance, take me to Rick."　

Glenn glared at her, but turned around and opened the roof's door.　

Jamie knew that he probably wasn't a bad person, he'd saved her life. But in these times, you couldn't really trust anyone. She would trust him, if Rick trusted him. She knew that he was concealing a weapon in the back of his pants and did wonder why he didn't pull it on her when she pulled hers. Maybe he was telling the truth, but then maybe it was just a rues. Then that made her wonder when she become so paranoid.　

Glenn had a flashlight and flicked it on, illuminating the dark staircase. The further that they went down the stairs, the more that Jamie tensed. She had no idea what she was walking into. Glenn could lead her anywhere. She could be going into an ambush for all she knew. But then again, Glenn could be the good-guy that he was saying he was and had saved Rick, she should be grateful. He didn't look mean or like a trickster, he looked genuinely honest. Now Jamie was starting to feel like a complete ass and found herself putting her weapon back in the holster.　

Finally, Glenn stopped at a door.

"Just in here." He glanced over his shoulder. "I see you don't think I'm a threat anymore."　

"Look, you can't blame for being cautious." Jamie told him. "And if you try anything, you'll be done like _that"_ —She snapped her fingers—"before you even get started."

Glenn looked at her with wide eyes for a second before he turned back to the door and opened it. He led her into what looked like an abandoned store room that was occupied with another man and two woman but no Rick in sight. Jamie felt like a fool.

"Hey," The blond greeted.　

"Hey," Glenn said, looking around nervously. "Where's Rick?"　

Before anyone could answer, Jamie wrapped her arm around Glenn's throat and her gun to his temple.　

"Whoa!" The blond shouted pulling her own gun from her waistband and pointed it at Jamie.

"Whoa, man!" The other guy repeated, pushing the other woman behind her.

Jamie didn't see those two as a threat so for now she focused on the blond. She locked eyes with her and a curl came to her lips. Jamie could see it in the girl's eyes, she was scared; the tremble in her hands supported the fact.　

"Try something," Jamie dared her. "I can take the four of you out in seven seconds."　

The blond paled.

"Andrea," Glenn said. His body was lax and his arms were at his side, trying to make himself as less of a threat as possible. "Put the gun down."　

Andrea shook her head. "I'm not going to put the gun down; she has a gun to your head, Glenn!"　

"She's not going to shoot me."　

"Are you sure about that?" Jamie asked.　

"I am." Came Rick's voice from behind her.　

"Rick?"　

"It's me, Jamie." Rick came around into her line of vision.　

"You okay?" Jamie asked, not taking her gun from Glenn.　

"Yes. Now I need you to put the gun away. You too, Andrea." Rick looked behind him at the blond; she hesitated before lowering her hand but continued to glare at Jamie. "Jamie, they are not the enemy."　

"You sure?"　

"Glenn saved me." Rick told her. "I ran into a group of walkers, and they took down the horse. I was able to take refuge in an abandoned tank, but I was surrounded. Glenn got me out."　

Jamie finally released Glenn and put her gun back in the holster. He scurried over to where Andrea and the others were.　

"Okay," Rick came over to her and put a hand on shoulder. "You've met Glenn. And that’s Andrea, T-Dog and his wife Jacqui."

"Where's Merle?" Glenn asked.　

"I'll tell you over here." Andrea said, dragging him into the corner.　

"Are you okay?" Rick asked her.

Jamie nodded and suddenly hugged Rick. "I am now that I know you're alive."

Rick hugged her back.

"So what do we do now?" Jamie asked, forcing herself to pull from the warmth and safety of his arms.　

"At sunrise we're going to go back to these guys' camp."　

"But what about our search?" Jamie furrowed her brows.　

"We're not going to stay there for long, just until we can think of a better plan to search for Shane and Lori." Rick told her.　

Jamie glanced out of the corner of her eye at the group of four over in the other corner. "You trust them?" She asked.　

"If it weren't for them, I'd be dead. You too." He told her softly.　

She crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly. "I was doing fine." She told him seriously.　

Rick looked at her.

"I was! Glenn just came at the last minute and pulled me over the railing. Climbing on that bus and jumping from the street light was all me."

"Alright!" Rick held up his hands. "He found you and he brought you here."　

"You're too trusting, Rick." Jamie told him.　

"Has it ever backfired?" He asked.　

"Not yet." Was all she said. "Fine. I'll trust them for now."　

"You never were good at trusting people," Rick commented.　

"With good reason." She said. "And the way the world is now, people only care about themselves. You should always be ready, Rick, anything can happen nowadays."　

"Jamie," He put a hand on her shoulder and looked her straight in the eye. "These are good people." He turned and went over to the others.　

"I hope you're right." She muttered.

**tWD**

They stayed the night in that shop; with someone awake to keep watch. And despite being exhausted from her three near-death experiences with the walkers, she couldn't sleep. So maybe these people were good, they saved Rick and Glenn didn't even try and defend himself against her. But that didn't mean that there wasn’t something or someone in their group that couldn't be trusted.　

Maybe it was just her.　

She'd like to say that it was from some bad childhood experience, but the only real betrayal that she'd ever felt was both her parents dying and leaving her — and she couldn't hold that against them. But when they did die, she was already nineteen, so it wasn't as if she was shoved in a Home. But from the very start she knew that even in good people, there was a darkness lurking behind the scenes. That at one point or another, something will snap. Jamie was just prepared for that event; she expected it and it always came.　

Rick was a good guy, trusting. He believed that there was good in everyone, and maybe there was. But it only took once, his trust placed in the wrong place to set things a-crumble. But she could never hold it against him, not even if things did start to crumble. She would trust these people and this group because Rick did.　

**tWD**

　The group didn't have a vehicle and she understood that it would attract the walkers. Even if they did leave the walkers in the dust, they would show up on the trail eventually. So instead they traveled via the rooftops, but did make one more pit stop. They needed the Sheriff's duffle bag; not only did it have medical supplies, but the weapons that they needed to survive.　

They were at the edge of the building's roof, the one with the balconies that Jamie used to make her escape, peering down.　

"There's too many of them, man." T-Dog shook his head.

"Less then there was before." Glenn said.　

"How bad do we really need it?" Andrea asked. "It can't be worth the risk."　

"That bag has a small arsenal packed inside of it," Rick told them. "As well as medical supplies."

"So how are we doing this?" Glenn asked Rick.　

Jamie and Rick shared a look for a second.　

"You grab the bag while Jamie and I distract the walkers." Rick instructed after a moment. "Once you have the bag, Glenn, get out of there. Don't worry about us, just get yourself out."　

Glenn nodded, his lips pursed tightly.　

"Do you have a knife?" Rick asked. "We don't want to draw anymore walkers with our guns."　

"No." Glenn answered.　

Rick pulled his knife from his belt and held out the hilt to Glenn, he took it after a moment. With out being told, Jamie unhooked the machete from her shoulders and handed it off to him, he strapped it in place.　

"Okay." Rick breathed. "We'll go first, draw their attention. While their focus is on us, grab the bag then come right back."　

Glenn nodded.

Rick and Jamie went down the ladder on the other side of the building, before circling around. While Glenn waited on the lowest balcony, ready to drop as the walkers moved away. In the alley and the street leading to the bag the two of them had encountered five walkers, each dispatched without much fuss. They came around to the street full of walkers, less than the number had been when Jamie was there last, at the end where the bus was.　

"You ready?" Rick asked.

Jamie nodded. "Whenever you are."　

"Hey!" Rick yelled. "You bags of rotting flesh!" One or two walkers turned their heads and started to shamble towards them.

Jamie gave him a look.　

"What?" He shrugged. "Got a better idea?"　

"They like the smell of fresh flesh, don't they?" She said rhetorically. She took her knife and drew it across the palm of her hand, slicing through the skin and blood. She winced as it burned, but squeezed her hand to draw more. She stepped to the end of the bus and slapped her hand, palm down against the side of it. Resulting in a loud bang and smear of fresh blood. That really got their attention. She backed away quick, back next to Rick.　

"Why'd you go and do that?" He asked, readying the machete. "We didn't want them to all come at us at once."　

Jamie grimaced in answer because that was what they all did. At least ten were attracted to the splotch of fresh blood, those that were the closest. And that as of on a cue they all turned to Rick and Jamie, the groaning cued up, and they shambled towards them in a crowd. Theyonly good thing though was that they reached the pair at different times, giving the two officers time to finish off a few before a few more arrived.　

It was hard and exhausting. Getting in close enough, but far enough away to stay from their reach and jaws. Plunging the knife into their skull and jerking it free again, jumping out of their reach before going in again. It probably only took 10 minutes of distraction for Glenn to be able to get the duffle, and there was at least twelve kills between the two of them.　

Jamie had blood everywhere, the wound on her hand still bleed and there was blood on her clothes. Most of the walkers seemed to be attracted to her, she smelled like a better meal than Rick. Like something smelled better hot and cold than frozen and raw. She didn't know how many she'd killed, even before they got to the city, but she was sure that it had already climbed into the triple digits. It didn't bother her, just she was sort of sick of seeing them, tired of killing them, of them trying to eat her.　

After Glenn had grabbed the bag and made it back up the balcony with the help of T-Dog, she and Rick backed away. Or at least they tried. The walkers— they really wanted her. Jamie made Rick go in front of her, before she peeled off for the ally across the street. This would lead them away from the others and without having to watch for Rick, felt that she had a better chance. It wasn't like she thought he was weak, it was just the fact that with him next to her, some of her focus was on where he was and how he was fairing, than to where it all should have been, on the walkers.　

"Jamie!" Rick cursed when he realized what she was doing.　

"It's fine!" She yelled back, disappearing into the opposite alley.

Rick climbed the rest of the ladder, a few walkers down underneath.　

"You guys okay?" Glenn asked, a little breathless as Rick came over the rest.　

"Great." Rick answer, his blue gaze narrowed slightly.　

"Where's Jamie" Jacqui asked.　

Rick glanced across the street, just as Jamie came up on the other roof. She waved across at them.　

"We'll meet her at the edge of the city," Rick said.

**tWD**

　Jamie made it there first, standing at the edge of the city by the highway. She hadn't bothered to wrap her cut, it'd stopped bleeding and was blood crusted; she'd get a bandage from Rick when the others got here. She hadn't encountered many walkers, just a few on the ground before she came to the edge of the city. The highway was abandoned with a few cars leading out that had dead bodies rather than waiting walkers.　

She wished that she had a change of clothes, not only so that she wouldn't smell of blood, but to get the walker-stink that lingered there from being in full contact from the one from the bus. She tried not to think about it, maybe that smell would mask the one of blood. The cut on her palm was a little deeper than she'd intended it to be; the edges of the skin were puckered and dry. Her hand was so stiff from the dried blood that it was hard to even flex it, and when she did fresh blood trickled from the wound.　

Jamie cursed; having this thing bleed every time she used her hand was only going to cause trouble. She needed to staunch it, but didn't want to get anymore blood on her clothes. She decided that the best thing that she could part with was the top-half of one of her sock, and it was probably the cleanest thing she was wearing.　

She rolled up her pant leg to her knee before she crouched and took her knife from her belt. She pulled her sock away from her leg, the tip of her knife on the material. She pushed the point into the material before she started to drag in along, cutting the material of her sock.　

"Whadda we have here?" a voice came from behind her and she jerked in surprise, cutting her shin. She cursed, but quickly stood and faced the stranger. "And a filthy mouth."　

"Who're you?" Jamie asked. She held her knife ready, the blade facing outward.　

"The man of your dreams, little lady."

Jamie scoffed in disgust. "In _your_ dreams, maybe."　

His lips twisted. "And an attitude. I'll just have to fix that."　

Jamie switched her knife for her gun in a smooth move; she was familiar with these situations when the world was normal and she had a job. "Try it." She dared him.　

He laughed. "You think that's gonna stop me?"　

Jamie didn't like this guy one bit, from the beginning, with just hearing his voice she could tell that he was a scumbag. And now seeing him, it just supported the fact. This guy was a pig, and the only way he could have survived this long because he probably shoved anyone else into the arms of the walkers. This guy was plain trash and Jamie begged him for a reason to pull the trigger.　

And he gave her one too. Despite being a big guy, his reach was fast. He grabbed something from his belt and threw it at her. A short blade. In the same motion he charged. Jamie jerked, trying to avoid the knife and pulled the trigger twice, aiming at him mass. He fell dead right at her feet, his knife going across the side of her throat. She felt blood trickle down her neck.　

"God damn it!" She yelled, stepping away from the guy. She re-holstered her gun and her hand went to her neck. If she hadn't jerked, then that knife would have killed her. This day just sucked from the beginning, getting cut three times in a matter of hours. It was this group; she knew that it had to be.　

Jamie looked down at the guy, Merle. It had to be. They way that Glenn had said his name the night before, was filled with disgust. And that name would suit this guy just fine, perfectly in fact.　

The cut on her hand had reopened, the blood from the cut on her shin had soaked into her sock, and now she was bleeding from her neck. Each wound wasn't that serious, it was just the fact of the smell of blood. Not to mention the sounds of those shots would draw walkers her way. She just hoped that it didn't put the others in the path of possible on-coming walkers.　

She did know that if she stayed here while she waited for Rick and the others, that she would have to wrap her wounds. She used the bottom hem of her shirt to wrap her neck, she left her sock covering the cut on her shin and used the sleeve of her shirt for her hand after cleaning away as much of the dry blood as she could. She left Merle where he was, not sure what to do with his body and sat on the bumper of the car as she waited for the other, keeping an eye out for any walkers.　

It wasn't long after that the other came, appearing from the city at a quick pace. Each had their guns out, with the duffle over Rick's shoulder.　

"Jamie?" Rick glanced at Merle's body and swore under his breath, but headed for Jamie.　

"I had to." Jamie said, sliding off the car. "He came at me outta nowhere."　

"Crap!" Glenn went over to Merle and with the help of Andrea flipped him over. The front of his shirt was stained red. "He's dead."

"Daryl's gonna be pissed." Andrea said in worry.

T-Dog looked at his body with both relief and guilt, he clutched his wife's hand.　

"Are you okay?" Rick asked her, seeing her neck.　

"Yeah. Just a few cuts." She told him.　

"Let me see." He told her, setting the bag on the trunk and opened it, pulling out a bottle and a few bandages.

Jamie showed him the one on her leg first, it was minor and he swabbed it before sticking on a band aid. Then the one on her neck, he cleaned in and covered it with a bandage. Both of them already scabbing. The one on her hand wasn't fairing as well. She peeled away the material that had dried to the cut, which reopened the wound.

"Why'd you let it get this bad?" Rick asked, rubbing her palm rougher then necessary.　

"Hey!" Jamie jerked her hand, but Rick tugged it back, sending her a look.　

He cleaned away the blood as well as cleaned the wound. He inspected it and sighed. "Looks deep enough to need stitches. Wrapping it will have to do." After he did, he released her hand.　

"Thanks," she wiggled her fingers.　

"Try not to use it." Rick told her, stilling her hand.

"Righty-o."　

"What do we do, Rick?" Glenn asked, turning from Merle.　

"Leave his racist-ass here." T-Dog muttered.　

"I agree." Andrea agreed.　

"Daryl really isn't going like this." Glenn shook his head.

"Who's Daryl?" Jamie asked, as she put the things back in the duffle.　

"Daryl is Merle's brother." Glenn answered.　

"And is he as bad as Merle was?"　

"No." Andrea shook her head. "Daryl's just under Merle's thumb, but when he finds out about Merle, we're all gonna be in big trouble."　

"We'll just have to tell him what happened." Rick reasoned. "Hope he sees reason."

Jamie didn't say anything, hoping that Rick was making the right choice on this one. Using his head.　

"How far is your camp?" Rick asked when no one protested.　

"Just a few miles from the city." Glenn told him.　

Rick lifted his sheriff's hat and ran an hand through his hair. "You told me that you guys were supposed to be back before night fall yesterday."

Glenn nodded.　

"I can hot-wire a car." Jamie voiced.　

"It would be faster," Glenn agreed. "And the quicker we get back to camp, the better."　

"Go ahead, Jamie." Rick told her.

Jamie grinned. "This car's as good as any." She said, smacking the hood of the car that she had been waiting on.　

**tWD**

　The instant that they got to the campsite, they knew something was wrong. Mainly the fact that there were walkers everywhere. It looked like they'd over run the camp, probably the same amount that there was by the bus the night before. There was panic, yelling, gun shots and that god damned groaning. The group jumped from the car and rushed to help.　

With the number people here in the camp, including those from the car, had a way better chance of surviving this. Especially if they just had a quarter of the skill that Rick and Jamie did. But it didn't end well.　

Out of a group of 15, not including Rick and Jamie, 5 died by the walkers hands in the invasion, not including Merle. Jamie didn't know these people, but she could feel the overwhelming depression and desperation that came off of them. T-Dog lost his wife, Jacqui. Andrea her younger sister, Amy. A woman, Carol, lost her husband, Ed. A young guy named Jim and another guy named Morales.　

"Lori?" Rick was sure that he was seeing things, but then she turned around and it was her.　

Lori looked at him like she'd seen a ghost, and rightly so. "R-Rick," She gasped and ran to him, enveloping him in a tight embrace. "You're here. You're alive." She breathed into his neck.　

Rick held her tightly; taking in the feel of her, the smell of her. "I could never leave you alone." He told her. He pulled back a little and cupped her face between his hands, he looked into her eyes for a moment before crushing his lips to hers.

"Dad!"　

Rick pulled away and crouched down, just as Carl came flying into his arms. Rick hugged him tightly.　

"I knew you weren't dead." Carl told him, a wide grin on his freckled face. "I knew that you'd find us!"　

"I never stopped looking," Rick told them both. "I never gave up hope." He stood up and hugged both Lori and Carl to him. "I love you both so much." He told them.

**\--?**

"You finally made it." The voice sounded off with forced hidden emotion.　

"What?" Jamie looked behind her at the voice in confusion.　

Shane smirked. "Has it been that long, that you don't recognize me?"　

"What?" She repeated in shock. "Shane,"　

"That would be me."　

"Wha— ? How?" Was what Jamie could manage.　

Shane shrugged. "I was trying to get Lori and Carl out of town, the news casters said that the city was safe, everyone was heading there, so it seemed right to go there too. The freeway was packed, there were army blockades. We were like fish in a barrel for the walkers. It was like a horror movie, man." He licked his teeth and rubbed at his chin, his other hand stuffed in his pant pocket. "The people here were the survivors of that."　

"And they just came out of nowhere?" She asked.　

"Yeah," Shane nodded. "Like what happened here. A massacre."　

"But you're alive," Jamie said. "You kept Lori and Carl alive."　

"You kept Rick alive." Shane countered. "But it took you long enough to get here."　

"Hey!" Jamie protested. "Rick was in his coma until barely a week ago."　

Shane was about to comment when a tussle arose not to far away. Jamie looked to and found that Glenn was at the center of it.　

"Who's that with Glenn?" Jamie asked.

"Daryl." Shane muttered.

"Daryl? Shit!" Jamie cursed.　

"What?"

　"I killed his brother." Jamie said through clenched teeth.　

Shane looked at her in shock.

"Hey!" Jamie yelled, running towards where Glenn and Daryl were, leaping over walker bodies.　

Glenn was on the ground and Daryl was over him, his fists full of Glenn shirt as he yelled. "Where's m'brother?!"　

Jamie made it to them and tore Daryl off of Glenn. He stumbled back as Glenn scrambled to his feet.　

"Who're you?" Daryl demanded, a snarl in his voice as he swiped the back of his hand across his mouth.　

"Jamie. And I want to talk about your brother."　

That really got his attention. He stiffened solid. "Where's Merle?"　

"He's dead." She told him bluntly. Jamie knew that Rick said he was going to talk to Daryl, but she was the one that killed Merle. And she knew that it was harsh to tell Daryl the way that she did, but she knew he wasn't the type that you could beat around the bush with — that'd just piss him off more.　

But then so did this news. Merle was a prick, but he was this guy's brother. Jamie herself was an only child, so she didn't have that kind of bond with anyone, but from how Andrea had reacted about her sister and the way that Daryl was acting now, it was pretty thick. Daryl charged at her like an angry bull, she dodged, but just barely. He stumbled to a halt and before he could right himself and come after her again, Jamie turned and grabbed his arm, trying to get him on the ground.　

They were wrestling and by now everyone had noticed. Now was not the time for this foolish action, great losses had just happened. But this was happening too and if someone didn't get Daryl to go into the submissive, who could tell what he might do.

"Jamie." Came Rick and Shane's voices.　

"I got it." Jamie grunted.　

She knew what she was doing. She'd been trained to be able to take down foes that were bigger and stronger than her, it was part of her job. She and Daryl were around the same size, but he was fuelled by anger and that made him a greater opponent. She'd been trained while Daryl was from the wilds. It took a few minutes, and it was exhausting, but she did get him pinned underneath her. She had him belly to the ground, sitting on him to pin him down, his arm twisted behind his back with his fist between his shoulder blades. He grunted in pain, struggling beneath her. If she pushed up on his elbow anymore, his shoulder would dislocate.　

"Ah. Let me go!" He barked, spitting.

"Not till you calm down." She growled.　

Daryl growled, and stopped fighting back at the moment. But he was wound up like a possessed spring. Jamie wasn't going to loosen her hold, knowing that the minute she did, he would buck her off. So she held tight.　

"Your brother is dead because I shot him." Jamie told him.　

At this, Daryl arched his back. Jamie knew that it must have been painful, but he really wanted at her. Enough so that he'd do it with a dislocated shoulder. She knew that he'd do it too; he'd go at her with just his teeth.　

"He tried to kill me." Jamie said. "I'm not going to try and apologize for defending myself."　

"I'm going to kill you!" He screamed.

"If you try, then you'll be reunited with your brother." Jamie confirmed. "I'm sorry you lost your brother, but I'm not for killing the man."　

His eyes were wet, and his jaw muscles bunched. He was silent.　

"Now. I'm going to let you go, but if you try anything there's two people behind me that will shoot you without a moments noticed. And don't think I can't take care of myself." Slowly, Jamie put the pressure off of Daryl's arm, easing it back to his side before she pushed herself from him and backed off a little, Rick and Shane standing behind her shoulders.　

Daryl lay there for a moment, his hands clutched into fists, his bitten nails digging into the flesh of his palms. He got to his feet, dirt clinging to his clothes as he turned and faced Jamie. "My brother was a lot of things, but he was still my brother." He stared at her. "You'll get yours, just like I'll get mine." And he turned, storming through the trees.　

It was five seconds before Jamie let out a breath, her shoulders slumping.　

Rick put a hand on her shoulder. "You did fine, considering." He told her.　

"Does someone want to tell me wants going on?" Shane demanded, clueless as to what just went down as was nearly everyone else.　

"Merle's dead." Rick told him.　

Jamie flexed her injured hand, during the slaughter and the scuffle with Daryl, she'd reopened the cut on her hand.　

"I told you to watch it with that." Rick said.

"It's fine." Jamie told him, removing herself from under his hand (something she thought that she'd never intentionally do) and wandering off.

**tWD**

　The group had built a pyre for the dead walkers, after making sure that each of their brains were destroyed, before lighting it aflame. Glenn had argued that the fallen of their group should be buried and not burned, no one argued. It took some convincing, but Andrea finally let Amy go. Rick knew that people suffered losses were now fearful of the camp and that was why he knew that they needed to discuss what to do next. There was never going to be a good time for this, someone was always going to have a loss.　

"We can't stay here any longer," Dale voiced when no one else did, too pained by losses. He had took it upon himself to comfort Andrea who seemed on the edge of snapping — or already had when she pulled a gun on Rick after he suggested that they bury Amy.

"I think that we should head for the CDC." Rick said.　

Shane scoffed and everyone looked at him. "You've seen the way that Atlanta was, how d'you s'pose that the CDC survived?"　

"Druid Hills isn't that much bigger than King County, and it fared pretty good." Rick countered. "And Dale's right, after what happened, we can't stay here any longer."　

"I agreed with Rick," Glenn spoke up.　

"Me too," T-Dog agreed quietly, no longer able to stay in the place that took his wife.　

"The CDC would be safe," Came Carol's soft and hesitant voice, she was hugging her young daughter, Sophia, to her.　

"We'll leave in the morning." Rick confirmed.　

Everyone nodded in agreement and went back to their tent, except for Shane, who seemed pissed and stormed away. Rick furrowed his brows at his friend's retreating back before going back to Lori and Carl's tent.

"Hey," He greeted his wife with a smile and a kiss.　

"Hey, yourself." Lori said back.　

"So we're heading out tomorrow," Rick told her. "To the CDC."

"Good." She nodded. "I think staying here will make things worse for everyone."

"Shane doesn't seem to think so." Rick said.　

"Well, you know Shane." She said. "Since you got here, everyone's looked to you for guidance when they used to look to Shane."　

"I guess I could go easy for a little while." Rick admitted.　

"You're doing just fine, hon." She smiled.　

"So, what are you up to?" He asked, coming behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.　

"Just folding some laundry," She leaned back against him.　

"Hmm." Rick tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear and started to kiss her neck. "I have some laundry for you."　

"Yeah?" She groaned.　

"Yeah, but you're going to have to get them off me first." One hand slid up her blouse as the other one unsnapped his belt.　

Lori gasped as he then unbuttoned her jeans, his hand sliding beneath her panties and started to rub. Her eyes slipped closed and she reached back, grasping his hair. Her hips moved and she rubbed back against him, feeling him coming to hardness. It started slow, but it soon turned desperate. Rick pushed her down onto the sleeping bag bed. They kissed. Rick tore her blouse open, exposing her breasts. He took each in his mouth, trailing kisses down her stomach, jerking her pants off before tugging at his own. Her legs were open and he spit on his fingers, rubbing her. She was hot and she was wet, and Rick grasped his cock, rubbing her with the head before he pushed himself into her opening. They bother gasped as he pushed himself into her fully, her folds enveloping him, her arching into him.　

Rick thrust into her; this was long overdue, he needed Lori, loved her.

**tWD**

　Shane's nails dug into the palm of his hands as he clenched them hard.

From Jamie vantage point she could tell that he was brooding. She'd heard of Rick's choice to go to the CDC and that everyone followed him; silently, he had become the group’s leader. Shane was the only one who protested, and she did see that he had a point of it being a waste of time — but then again she'd always side with Rick, no matter what the choice.

　She'd climbed a tree, sitting halfway up. Her cover of the ground was good, and if you weren't looking for her you wouldn't notice her. She was sure that this was a private moment for Shane, but really, no one ever got any real privacy any more. People knew, but they just never spoke it out loud.　

He was pacing in front of a tree for a minute or two, before he stopped. Turned to the tree, ran his fingers across the rough bark. She could see the white knuckles of his hands and before she could blink, he had raised it up and pounded it into the trunk of the tree three times in turn. She'd winced each time; it shook the braches of his tree three over. His breath was heavy and he leaned his forehead against the tree, flexing his swollen hand.　

"What'd that tree ever do to you?" Jamie commented, thinking it better to just reveal herself.　

"What d'you want?" Shane asked.　

"It's not what I want," Jamie said. "It's what's up with you."　

Shane stood from the tree and turned around. "Where are you?" He looked around.　

"I'm nowhere. I'm everywhere."　

Shane scowled. "Really, Jamie!"　

"What?" She grinned. "It's true!"　

Shane shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "Where have you been?" He asked, not bothering.　

"Around,"　

"So you heard what the groups going to do?"　

"Yeah,"　

"And...?"　

"It doesn't matter what I think," She told him, dropping from the tree. "You know I'll always side with Rick, Shane."　

"Because you love him." He muttered bitterly.

"There’s something of yours that I found." Jamie said.

"Yeah. And what's that?"　

Jamie stepped over to him and stuck her fingers into her secret pocket, pulling out his uniform tag. She'd found it in Rick's house and it'd been burning a hole through her pants ever since. She held it out to him, "Found this at Rick's house," Jamie stared at him, her gaze boring into his brain.　

"Thanks," He reached out and grasped it, but she didn't let go.　

"If this is what I think it is and if this is happening, then you'd better quit." She hissed. "It's fine to feel — I feel it every damn second of my life — but you don't act on it, you never act on it. You thought Rick was dead, fine. But you didn't even give it time. If Rick ever finds out about this, it'll destroy him... then I'll have to destroy you." She growled, baring her teeth. She let go of his name tag before giving him a wide smile. "You should probably put your hand in a stream before it swells."　

Shane just stared at her as she then turned and slipped away through the trees, his hands tightening around the hard plastic and pin.　

**tWD**

Everyone was packed a ready to leave in the morning and no one wanted to waste any time. Dale had his camper and he took Andrea, Carol and Sophia. There was a closed jeep and that was the one that Rick, Lori and Carl occupied. Shane and T-Dog took the truck and Jamie and Glenn had the car that Jamie had hotwired back in the city. Daryl stuck with them, after a word with Rick, he scouted ahead on his bike.　

Jamie had used this opportunity to apologize to Glenn about the whole holding him at gun point and threatening to kill him. But he'd just waved it off as if it were nothing, and that was when Jamie realized that Glenn really was a good guy. And with that knowledge came the feeling again that she was a definite asshole.　

They arrived at Druid Hills by late afternoon. It was like Atlanta and it was like King County... In ruins. Abandoned vehicles, both civilian and military. Dead scattering the streets, both walkers and human.　

The trail of cars stopped because they had arrived, they got out and gazed at the CDC.

Rick let out a breath of relief. He had been fearful of what Shane had said, that the Center would be destroyed like everything else, but here it was. Still standing and a beacon of hope for everyone. This could be their safe haven. They could learn what this virus was, how to stop it. Everyone had smiles on their faces. But they disappeared just as the CDC building was destroyed. It was like it was hit with a nuke or self-destructed.　

The blast sent everyone’s ears ringing. The site blazed with fire.　

"I told you so," Shane muttered under his breath.　

"What just happened?" Lori asked.　

"I think the CDC just self-destructed." Jamie said in confusion.　

"So coming here was just a waste of time!" T-Dog concluded.　

"What do we do now?" Came Carol's small voice.　

"This is bullshit!" Andrea yelled, pissed.　

"Okay. Everybody just calm down!" Rick yelled over them.　

They did, after a moment and stood in a group.　

"The best thing for us to do right now is make a camp and in the morning we'll move on." Rick said.　

"Won't it be too dangerous to stay here after an explosion like that?" Glenn asked. "Won't it draw the walkers?"　

"He's got a point." Shane agreed.　

Rick looked at him for a second, his eyes going to Jamie's before he turned back to the group. "We'll find an abandoned shop and set up there, post look-outs for any walkers during the night." Lori squeezed his hand.　

Everyone looked resigned, but glad to have instruction.　

"Hey, Rick?" Jamie stepped next to Rick.　

"What's up?" He turned to her.　

"Fort Benning would be out next best option," She told him quietly. "There is still the possibility that it's still operational. If the CDC has lasted this long, then there's a chance that it's still standing."

Rick nodded in agreement. He'd been out for two months and Jamie was his best reliable source of information. "Get Glenn and see if you can find us some place to stay the night. It doesn't need to be anything special, but make sure it's clear of any walkers."　

"Righty-o!" Jamie nodded. "Hey, Glenn?" She called to get his attention and jerked her head.

He jogged up to her. "Whaddya need?"　

"Come on," She said. "We got some hunting to do."　

**tWD**

　Jamie and Glenn found a place a little ways from the CDC, but not that far from the main road. If they had to, they did want to get out of there as quick as possible if they were ambushed like back at the old camp. They cleared the surrounding street of any walkers with knives and Jamie had to admit that for a small guy, Glenn was pretty strong. They cleared the inside of the building and checked the other ones around. When they set up, they didn't want a random walker popping out.　

They lined up the vehicles facing the exit and posted watches. T-Dog volunteered to take the roof of their building, Jamie took the road that lead to the CDC and set up on another building, and Glenn took the street opposite that. They didn't unpack everything, mostly just sleeping material, the weapons and a cold meal — something that they were running out of.　

Rick thought that this would be a good time to finally talk to Shane, when everything was calm.

"Shane?" Rick said. "Can I talk to you for a sec."

"Sure, man." Shane came over to Rick. "What's up?"　

"I never got to thank you for taking care of Lori and Carl when I couldn't."

"Don't worry about it," Shane shrugged it off. "They're like family."　

"I know," Rick agreed. "But I feel like I'm indebted to you, Shane. If I didn't have a friend like you, then I would have my wife and kid right now."　

"It's fine, Rick! You're welcome, and let's just leave it at that." Shane said, before walking away.　

Rick watched him with furrowed brows; feeling like he was missing something. And maybe he was, he was still new to the makings of this apocalyptic zombie world. But maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was the fact that people do change, especially in a situation like this. Or maybe it was because Rick was talking about family. Shane had never settled down and maybe he realized that now there wasn't a chance, unless maybe Shane and Jamie hooked up. But Rick didn't think so, he didn't think that they had that kind of relationship — they were more pals than friends, and maybe just so because of their association with him.　

Rick shrugged it off. He couldn't deal with this right now, not when he had to think about more pressing matters.　

**tWD**

There hadn't been any walker attacks during the night, and everyone had a nights rest. And now that it was morning, the group was ready to move out, their new destination, Fort Benning. The freeway was packed; Daryl's bike could barely navigate, let alone trying to get Dale's RV through this wreckage. So they had to clear the path by moving the abandoned cars that blocked the path. They put the cars into drive, then pushed them off the road with the help of the jeep.　

It was hard and tiring work, very tenuous.　

And it was going fine until Dale's RV broke down.

"What happened?" Rick asked Dale when he got from the RV. Everyone stopped and turned off their vehicles before getting out.　

"Well," Dale came around the front of the RV and opened the grill. "Looks like a broken cuppling."　

"Can you fix it?"　

"I don't have a replacement." Dale confessed.　

"Can't we just take one from one of the cars out here?" T-Dog asked. "It's not like they're gonna need it."

Rick nodded in agreement. "While you're doing that, we can also find some extra supplies."　

"Glenn can help me look for the proper sized cuppling," Dale said.　

"Sure," Glenn joined them. "I know what I'm looking for."　

"'Kay, everyone, you know what to do and let’s keep an eye-out for any walkers." Rick called out.

Everyone agree reluctantly; it felt weird going through someone else's things. But they were alive and the people on the road weren't, the group needed these things to survive.

"Stay with your mother, Carl." Rick told his son, giving him his sheriff's hat. Carl grinned in return.　

"I want to be able to see you at all times. Got that, buster?" Lori smiled, tapping the brim of the hat.　

"Got it, mom." Carl laughed.

"You too, Sophia." Carol told her daughter.

Shane set up watch on the top of the RV, able to see a better distance from this height. Carl and Sophia stuck together, and so did Lori and Carol. Glenn looked for a right sized cuppling. Andrea stuck to the vehicles near the RV. T-Dog and Daryl ventured to the other side of the freeway. Jamie and Rick went a little wide, but not out of the hushed-shout reach.

It's been ten minutes; they'd found water and clothing, even a few items that could be used as a weapon. A hatchet, some knives, T-Dog even found a shotgun. But that was when Shane noticed it, and cursed himself that he hadn't been paying more attention. Walkers headed their way, and lots of them, hardly making a sound. Too many for them to even try and take them on.　

"Dale!" Shane hissed.　

Dale looked up at him, about to open his mouth but Shane sliced at his throat to silence him.

"Walkers," He gestured with his fingers, before making a huge gesture to indicated the size. "Lots," He jerked his thumb behind him to show where they were and then he indicated the whole area and made a downward gesture. "Everyone. Down,"　

Dale nodded, waved Glenn down and whispered for him to find Rick. Andrea heard what was going on and hid in the RV where Dale joined her. Shane got Daryl’s attention and did the same thing that he did with Dale, he nodded and dragged T-Dog down. Shane finally laid flat on the top of the RV. Glenn found Rick and told him what was happening before finally sliding under a car. Rick rushed in a crouch over to where Lori and Carol were, telling them to get under the car and be quiet. Carol was frozen with fear and Lori had to pull her under. Rick found Carl and shoved him in the backseat of a car, telling him not to move or make a sound until someone came and got him. He was on his way to Jamie but she already knew what was happening.　

"I got Sophia." She said, shoving him down. Before he could protest, she was already gone and he had no choice but to crawl underneath the car. The walkers were already passing the RV. "Sophia?" The girl gasped loudly in fear, frozen in place much like her mother had been. "It's okay," Jamie told her quietly, taking her hand. She could feel the girl tremble. "We're just going to hide under this car for a little while, okay?" Sophia nodded and crawled under the car. Jamie followed on her belly. "Be as quiet as you can."　

Jamie's heart was pounding inside her chest. This was worse than the ambush in the city. At least there she was able to see where the walkers were, how many of them, at least she had been able to defend herself. But with her minimal manoeuvrability on her stomach, beneath a car and with Sophia next to her; she wasn't sure that she'd be able to defend the two of them properly.　

Shuffling feet after shuffling feet accompanied by low groaning passed, but it was finally starting to thin out. Now there was just a few stragglers. Sophia was shaking, trembling in fear. A pair of walkers were coming by and one of them bumped into the car. Sophia whimpered in fright and the next thing Jamie knew dead fingers were reaching. Sophia shrieked in fear and panic, scrambling out from under the car, drawing attention to herself.　

"Shit!" Jamie cursed, trying to go after her. Her belt got caught. "Rick!" She yelled, jerking herself free from under the car. She scrambled to her feet.

Rick was out and up.　

Sophia had slipped under the guard rail, the walkers with her as she disappeared into the woods. Jamie jumped over the guard rail and slid down the incline. Rick wasn't far behind. They met at the bottom.　

"Did you see which way she went?" Rick asked, the machete out.

Jamie shook her head, her knife out in her good hand. She was feeling guilty as hell, she'd lost someone's kid... with god damned zombies on after her!　

"Okay, we'll head straight and keep our ears peeled." Rick instructed, calm.　

Jamie nodded in agreement, shoving the flicker of panic down.　

They moved quietly, theirs steps careful. They got in pretty deep and Jamie was sure that they gone too far, but then there was the crumpling of dry leaves and a faint whimper. And Rick and Jamie were off quick.　

"Sophia!" Jamie breathed in relief, helping the kid up from where she fell. She was whimpering and tears trailed down her dirty cheeks. "Are you hurt?"

Sophia shook her head.

Rick was about to ask where the walkers were when the groans and scuffling behind them told him that they were close. "Take Sophia and stay out of sight," Rick told her. "I'll lead the walkers away and then take care of them."　

"'Kay, don't do anything stupid." Jamie nodded reluctantly; not liking Rick going off on his own, but she had to take care of Sophia. He disappeared. "Come on," She said to the girl softly, leading her away with a hand on her back. "Let's go for a walk."　

Jamie stopped a little ways away and Sophia sank down to the roots of a tree, hidden. Jamie stood in the opening, that way Rick would be able to spot her and she'd be ready if the walkers turned up. She turned and froze, it wasn't a walker in front of her, but instead a deer. Rick appeared and she stopped him with a finger to her lips and a jerk of her head towards the deer. He nodded and stayed put. Jamie looked over to where Sophia hid.

"Sophia?" Jamie said very quiet. "Come here, it's alright."　

Sophia did, but she moved quietly. She stepped out from behind the tree and saw the deer, stopping. Her eyes lips up and the tears stopped as she looked at the wild creature. She probably never saw one before. Her lips were twitching into a smile but it turned into a scream. There was a gunshot, it tore through the deer and killed it dead, before it hit Jamie and she crumpled to the ground.　

"Jamie!" Rick ran to her, falling to his knees at her side.　

There was blood everywhere.　

Sophia was crying again and this time she wasn't being quiet about it.　

Jamie's breath was ragged and shallow, the colour gone from her skin. Something was crashing through the shrubs on the other side of the deer, Sophia whimpered in fear, but Rick didn't take his eyes from Jamie. He knew that it wasn't a walker, it was a guy yelling "oh my god!" over and over. He burst from the bushes holding a rifle.　

"I didn't see her." Otis said, a big guy. "I didn't see her!"　

Rick's teeth were barred and his eyes narrowed; his gaze like blue fire. He pinned that gaze on Otis, he'd never felt this way before. "You shot her! And now she's going to die!" He roared, never feeling this way before.　

Otis flinched, but shook his head rapidly. "I-I-I work at a farm not far from here, Hershel, he-he can help her."　

"Show me!" Rick screamed. He picked Jamie up and got to his feet with effort, but the anger and fear helped.　

Otis nodded his head and turned.

Rick looked down at Sophia. "Sophia, honey, I need you to listen to me very carefully."　

Sophia looked up at him frightened out of her wits, but paid attention to him; knowing that she needed to.　

"I'm gonna need you to follow me quick, okay? Jamie's hurt real bad and we gotta make sure she’s okay, alright? Can you follow me?" Rick asked her gently.　

"Okay," She sniffed.

　"Go in front of me and run. Follow that man. Can you do that for me?"　

Sophia nodded and got in front of Rick, following Otis at a run.　

Rick followed them with Jamie in her arms. She was heavy, a dead weight, but he wouldn't let her go out like this. She had to stay alive, she had to be saved. He had to get through this, he had to get her to the farm; it was her only hope. He was getting tired, carrying her through the wilderness, running his heart out. But he got tunnel vision, his gaze focused on Sophia because she was following Otis who was leading them to the farm. She was stumbling, but she picked herself up and kept in front of Rick; she was being brave right now and that was what he needed.　

Rick could see it finally. Across this one field and they were there. He could see the house. Feel the gravel under his boots as he ran across the drive. Otis finally stopped and Sophia came to a stumbling halt.　

The screen door the house slammed shut as a man came out. Hershel. "Otis, what the..." He started.　

"I was out hunting," Otis panted out flustered. "I had a deer in my sight. I didn't see her. I didn't see her!"　

Hershel looked at Rick holding Jamie, pale and bloody. "Come on, then." He said gesturing to Rick. "Let's get her inside."　

Rick moved instantly, passed Otis and up the steps, through the front door. Sophia trailed behind him, exhausted.　

"In here." Hershel led them to a room just off the living room. "Set her on the bed."　

Rick did, but he had to force himself to let her go.

Hershel was rolling up his sleeves. "Patricia?" He called. "I'm gonna need you to get some towels and some hot water." He got a doctor’s bag from off the floor and opened it up. Patricia didn't waste her time in bringing the towels and water.　

Rick was forced to step back from the bed _and_ Jamie.　

Hershel cut away Jamie shirt, and unclipped her belt. Her stomach was just a mess. Hershel and Patricia cleaned away as much of the blood as they could. Rick knew that Jamie was shot with a rifle, but that wasn't what it looked like.　

"Oh, my." Hershel muttered.

"What?" Rick demanded.　

"The bullet broke into multiple fragments." Hershel explained.　

"You're a doctor, right? You’ll treat her, can't you?"　

"My usual patients aren't human."　

Rick was silent for a moment. "But you can help her."　

"I can try."　

"Thank you," Rick breathed.　

"Don't thank me yet." Hershel told him. "Why don't you tell me your name?" He said as he set to work on saving Jamie.　

"Uh, Rick. And that's Jamie."

Hershel nodded. "She's lost too much blood. This isn't looking good. Do you know what blood type she is?"　

Rick nodded. He knew this, he did. Because Jamie didn't have any family in King County or otherwise, she made sure that Rick knew in case she was ever shot on duty like he was. It was the same as his. And his was... Think, think. "AB+!" He nearly shouted. "Do you have blood?" He asked.　

"No one on my farm has that type." Hershel said.　

"We have the same," Rick said desperate, "Use mine."　

"I don't want to give her anything that might slow her heart down." Hershel said. "She'd gonna need surgery in order to remove the fragments."　

Patricia was hooking Rick up to a machine in order to take his blood to transfer it to Jamie, attaching another end to Jamie. It cleaned it before giving it to her.　

"Is it just the three of you?" Patricia asked.　

Rick shook his head. "We're part of a group, 9 more; that's where Sophia's mother is. We were on the freeway when one of our cars broke down; a group of walkers came and Sophia got split from the group. Me and Jamie went after her."　

"I'll get Maggie to ride over and tell them about your friend." Hershel told him.　

"You don't know how much this means," Rick said. "You helping to save Jamie."　

"With the blood transfusion she should be stable for now." Hershel told, covering her wounds. "I'm going to have to perform the surgery as soon as possible, but I don't want to do it without a respirator."　

"Do you have a uh... respirator?" Rick asked, now sitting in a chair next to Jamie bedside.　

"Otis is looking for one as we speak." Hershel said, cleaning his hands. "She should be fine for now." He left, leaving Rick and Jamie alone.　

Rick looked down at Jamie. He'd never seen her like this before, this defenceless, this un-lively. Never had she been injured in the line of duty, and it was never that she never went out in the field, because she did, it was that she was so good that she never got shot in the line of duty. And now that she didn't even have a job — what was the point with the way things were now? — she got shot. And now... Now there was a chance that she may not make it. They didn't have access to a hospital or a proper surgeon. But at least they had Hershel. Otis could have ran and then Jamie would be dead for sure, but he didn't and Rick was thankful for that as well as thankful that Hershel had a good heart. He could have turned them away, but he didn't.　

Rick could tell that she was in pain. Hershel said that he didn't want to give her anything that would slow her heart, giving her less of a fighting chance. His wound was nothing compared to Jamie's. Her brows were knitted together with the pain, her breathing was still uneven, her skin was pale, clammy and cool to the touch.　

Patricia came back and unhooked him and Jamie from the blood transfusion machine and handed Rick a glass of orange juice. Rick took it in numb fingers and gave her a nod in thanks. She checked on Jamie before leaving the room again. He took a sip and felt flavour burst along his tongue but didn't taste it.　

In next hour or so Jamie had been in and out of consciousness. She'd awaken but soon pass out from the pain. In that hour, Hershel kept his word, he'd sent his daughter Maggie out to find the group and lead them her. Carol had come to the house and gotten Sophia, it was a happy reunion and Rick was glad. Rick had done about three transfusions of blood and was feeling a little dizzy and light headed, but he'd give Jamie as much blood as she needed.　

He owed her.　

Lori came in to see him.　

"Hey," She said softly, taking his hand and leading him to the corner of the room.　

Rick followed albeit reluctantly. "Hi," He mumbled. He was pale and had dark circles around his eyes.　

"How're you holding up?" She asked quietly.　

"It's not me that I'm worried about." Rick said, his gaze trained not on Lori but Jamie instead.　

"Hey, look at me." Lori cupped his cheek, turning his head so that he was looking at her. "You need to look after yourself, Rick. You have a family."　

Now Rick did look at her. "Jamie doesn't have anyone, Lori. And if it weren't for her, then you wouldn't have me."

"Rick..."　

He shook his head.　

Lori took her hand back, glancing over Rick's shoulder at Jamie. "Who is she to you?"　

"What?"　

" _Rick..."_ Jamie mumbled out, coughing.　

Rick rushed her side, grabbing her hand. "Hey," He breathed.　

Lori watched them, her arms crossed over her chest.　

"Hey," It was weak. "It feels like I was shot."　

"You were." He told her.

Surprise flickered through her green gaze. "There's something that I have to tell you."　

"You can tell me when you wake up," Rick said.　

But Jamie shook her head slowly back and forth, a grimace marring her face. "There's no way that I'm gonna make it,"

"If you think like that, then yeah." He agreed.

"Rick," She swallowed. Was she really making the right choice in telling him this or was it the pain? "I-I l —" Her eyes rolled into her head and she started to seize.

"Hershel, Hershel!" Rick yelled. He didn't know what to do.　

Hershel rushed in and Rick reluctantly stepped away. "Patricia!" He called. He removed the pillow from under Jamie's head and turned her on her side before he let her ride the seizure out. Patricia rushed in. "We’re gonna do the surgery now, we can't wait any longer." Patricia nodded and rushed from the room again. "Rick, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out."

But Rick was real hesitant.　

"I'll do everything that I can for her," Hershel told him. "But I need all of my focus to be on her."

Rick was nodding when Lori pulled him from the room and the house. Rick only allowed it because he was too in a daze to do otherwise.　

"Are you okay?" Lori asked, rubbing his back.　

"I'll be okay when Jamie is." Rick told her, moving from her touch and off the porch.　

**tWD**

　The first thing that Rick found himself doing was changing out of his sheriff attire. This uniform meant something to him and maybe even the others. Leadership. Hope. Everything that having the police out there meant. But how could he even wear this when he can't even protect his deputy? It was such a stupid thing. In a world full of zombies, she gets shot by a clueless hunter. It was his fault. He didn't know how, but this was his fault. He didn't know what he would do if Jamie didn't make it through this. He was right when he said that he wouldn't have been here if Jamie hadn't been there. She was one of the best deputy's that a sheriff could have. She was loyal and skilled, didn't loose her head in a crises or situation, confident — not hot-headed like Shane. She'd been a great student and she had been a friend for six years.　

The group had set up camp near a group of trees not to far from the house. Maybe they could stay here at Hershel's farm instead of heading out again for Fort Benning. Rick watched them from a distance, he wanted to be alone. He wanted Jamie to be alright. Lori wasn't helping and he got the feeling that she didn't much like Jamie. Maybe he'd join them when he knew that Jamie was going to make it.　

As Hershel worked on Jamie, Rick got to thinking that maybe he wasn't quite cut-out for leadership of this group. He had been the sheriff of King County and he was sure that he was a good one, but the world had changed. Government was gone, the law was gone. It was every man for himself. Rick was used to structure and rules, that was what made him a good sheriff and leader. This world, this was more Shane's world. He thrived in a structure like this. He was a rule-bender, and this was a place without rules. Maybe it was wrong of him to just waltz in and take over, leap-frogging over Shane. From what he'd seen, Shane had done a job well done. And he saved Lori and Carl without having to be asked. So if Shane was a good of friend as that, what kind of friend was Rick to just show up and take over?　

There were too many things. He wasn't too good after donating three pints of blood. No food. No rest. He wasn't going to rest until he heard about Jamie. He knew that he wouldn't until Jamie woke up. It was what Jamie did for him for a month. And he was going to stay at her bedside until she was better. He owed that to her. He did. He didn't know what he did to deserve it, but she was so loyal to him... to a fault.　

**tWD**

　It was two hours before Hershel came out of the house and found Rick on the porch where he had been for almost all that time.

　Rick stood up.　

"I was able to remove the six bullet fragments," Hershel told him. "There were a few close calls, but in the end I was able to complete the operation without a respirator."　

"So she's going to be alright?" Rick asked to make sure that was what Hershel was saying.　

Hershel nodded. "She's going to be bed-ridden for a few days, but with rest and food she's going to be fine."　

"Thank you, this means a lot." Rick shook his hand. "And letting the others stay here; inviting us to your home."　

"It was the least we could do after what happened with Otis." Hershel said. "But I want to make sure that you know that this arrangement is only until that girl recovers enough to be able to move around on her own."　

Rick pursed his lips at that. "I was wondering if we could stay here permanently."　

Hershel started to shake his head.　

"We'll stick to ourselves, we won't bother you, we'll provide for ourselves." Rick rushed. "This is the first place that we have been that is secure and is safe, a place that could feel like a home. The world around us is in ruins, and the only people that we can count on are people like you."　

"I'm sorry, Rick." Hershel said. "But in times like these, I can only count on myself. And this farm is for the protection of my family. You've survived this long out there, your group is strong." His tone said that it was final.　

Rick wouldn't give up just yet. While Jamie recovered, he'd talk to Hershel and maybe they could work something out. The group could stay here, be able to live. And maybe Rick would get his confidence as leader back again, just as he was getting Jamie.　

**tWD**

　As Jamie slept, so did Rick. They needed it, both of them did. Rick knew that he couldn't glue himself to Jamie while she recovered — at least not while she slept — Lori had been right; he did have a family. He had a wife and he had a son, and he had to take care of them... and he had to look out for the group as well. He had been an asshole to Lori and he needed to apologize.　

He found her in their tent, which was good enough.　

"Hey," He said slipping in.　

"Hi,"　

"I wanted to talk to you," Rick said, closing the tent flap. "About the way that I acted."　

"Rick..." She started, about to protest.　

Rick shook his head. "I was rude to you, Lori. I was disrespectful. You were just trying to help, and I blew you off." He sat next to her on the cot.　

"I'm not upset." Lori told him, a hand on his back. "I get that you were upset about the whole situation."　

Rick nodded and he took her hand, interlacing their fingers. "I love you, Lori." He looked at her.　

"I love you, Rick." She kissed him.　

Rick breathed, relishing the kiss. The feel of her lips against his. His eyes slipped closed and he cupped her cheek. Slowly they inched down until they were lying on the cot. It didn't go any further than kissing though. Rick rested his head against her breast as she held him.　

"How're you holding up?" Lori asked him, her fingers combing through his dark curls.　

"I feel relief now that I know Jamie's going to make it." Rick told her, and he did. He felt more relieved than he thought that he would.

"Rick?"　

"Mm?"　

"What is she to you?" Lori said, quiet.

Rick was quiet in turn.　

"Rick?"　

"Why do you keep asking that?"　

"Because I want to know what your relationship is with Jamie."

"Jamie is my deputy," Rick told her. "And she's my friend."　

"How come I've never met her?"　

Rick furrowed his brows. "I don't know. I guess we're work friends, I mean we've never really hung out outside of work."

"Friends how?"　

"I guess like how me and Shane are friends."　

"Then that's more than work friends."　

"What do you want me to say?" Rick leaned up on his elbow to look at her, confused.　

"Do you have feelings for her?" Lori came right out with it.　

"What?!"　

"Do you?"　

"No! I told you, she's my deputy."

"I've seen the way she looks at you." Lori sat up, making Rick sit up too.　

"What are you talking about?"

Lori looked at him with raised brows, searching his eyes and face. "You really don't know?"

"Don't know what?!" This conversation had turned into something more than just apologizing for being an ass. Somehow it had turned into him trying to define his relationship with Jamie. How had it turned to this? And yeah, he didn't know what Lori was talking about, or how this was somehow important.　

"She's in love with you, Rick!" Lori shot to her feet.　

Rick stared at her blankly before standing up himself. "I knew that there was a reason why I didn't introduce the two of you," He said. "I knew that this would be the way that you'd react. All just because she's another woman and I work with her. I was her training officer, Lori, and now she's my Jr. Deputy under Shane. There is nothing going on there."

"Then what did she have to tell you?" Lori demanded. "It was so important that she had to say it before she died? Hm?"　

"She hasn't woken up yet from the surgery." Rick returned. "She was _shot_ with a **fucking** _rifle_ for god's sake!" He yelled.　

It was silent. Rick was frozen and so was Lori, though she looked pissed more than anything. They both knew that it was heated when Rick swore something fierce, but when he did, it also seemed to cool down the fight. The reason for that was mostly because of Carl, if he was in the house when they started to fight. Now, they had to worry about the group. It was rare. They actually had a fight the night before Rick was shot in the shoot out and hospitalized.　

They took a moment to breathe and calm themselves.　

"Jamie and I don't have that sort of relationship, Lori." Rick told her. "I could never do something like that to you. I could never cheat, I love you too much." He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb running along her cheek bone.　

Lori bit her lip for a moment. "Okay," She nodded, taking his hand.　

**tWD**

Jamie awoke the next morning, in pain but not as much as she had been. She was groggy, her abdomen was tight and that was most definitely where all the pain was coming from. The last things she remembered was a deer and then Rick's worried face hovering over her. But that kind of took a back-burner when she noticed the fact that she was in an actual bed — with pillows and a blanket. She hadn't seen a proper bed in two months... And it had to take getting shot to get one.　

How nice was that.　

She didn't know where she was, had they really made it to Fort Benning? Jamie didn't think so. The last time that she was conscious they had just started their journey from the CDC to Fort Benning so there was no way that they'd have been able to get there. And this looked like a house, not a Fort.　

She pushed herself painfully up, a un-welcomed whimper leaving her lips. She leaned back against the headboard, taking a moment to breath. She looked down at herself. Her hand was freshly wrapped. Her abdomen was completely wrapped, from her belly-button to under her breasts. She wasn't exposed though, that was something. She didn't have her shirt any longer but still had on her bra. Her belt was gone and that was the thing that made her feel exposed. She searched around almost in a panic, but she breathed when she spotted it on the side table.　

Being alone gave her time to run through a few things — plus she was afraid to go calling out when she didn't know where she was or who'd come running. She wasn't quite sure she'd be up to defending herself quite yet. By the sound of it, she was sure that she was shot by a hunting rifle. It made sense, being as there had been a deer in front of her and she had been in the woods when it happened. And it would be stupid to think that this group was the only survivors in the world.　

That would just be plain stupid.　

She twisted stiffly in the bed; bringing her legs over the side of the bed and sliding forward till she was at the edge of the mattress. She looked down at her feet flat on the wood floor and she wiggled her toes; not able to remember when the last time she'd taken off her boots. It didn't sound hygienic, but she had to be ready at all times. You never knew when the walkers were gonna come, just like what had happened on the freeway. So she slept with them on, only taking them off whenever she got the chance to wash.　

She was breathing a little hard, really feeling tired. Just holding herself up was taking a lot. Yeah, she knew that it would probably be in her best interest to lie back down, get rest and heal. Being injured in a time like this was not acceptable. It was survival of the fittest. Having her injured like this, useless, defenceless and smelling of blood was a danger to the group.　

At the moment she was deciding whether or not it was a good idea to get out of this bed. Her stomach told her that she was being a right fool.　

" _See you survived_."　

Jamie sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes shooting to the doorway — where Daryl stood. She narrowed her eyes. "Whadda you want?"　

"Just had to see it with my own eyes." He told her, leaning against the door frame.　

"See what?"

"That you got yours."　

"And?" Jamie demanded.　

"You killed my brother," Daryl said, standing up from the doorframe and taking a step into the room.　

Jamie tenses and felt the pain shoot through her from her stomach, forcing it not to show on her face.　

"I told you that you would get yours for killing him. I know what people thought about my brother, and knew the way he acted wasn't right — but he was still my brother. You killed him and you got punished by doing so." Daryl turned and walked out. "An eye for an eye." He called back.　

Jamie furrowed her brows. "But I'm not dead!"

"That's not what I heard."　

Rick saw Daryl leave the house and he nearly ran inside. "Jamie?" He found her on the bed, her brows furrowed and an arm around her stomach while the other one gripped the side of the mattress.

She turned to him. "Am I dead?"

Rick furrowed his brows. "What did Daryl say to you?"　

"He said that I died."　

"You may have, for a few second while Hershel was getting the bullet fragments out." Rick told her, looking at her face with concerned eyes. It was pale and strained, and it was lined with pain. "You need to lie down," He said.　

Jamie shook her head; she knew that she wouldn't be able to rest properly until she knew where they were and if it was safe. "Where are we?"　

Rick sighed and answered, knowing that Jamie wouldn't lie down until she got answers. She was stubborn and bull-headed. "After you were shot, the man who did it brang us to the farm. The owner, Hershel, operated on you; he saved you. He's gonna let us stay here until you're better."　

Jamie looked at him.

"I'm going to try and talk him into letting us stay here permanently."

"Good luck with that," Jamie said. "If I had a whole farm, I don't think I'd been too keen on letting a bunch of strangers stay there either."　

"Well, I hope you're wrong about that." Rick sighed. "Now are you going to lie back down?"　

"Whatever you say, boss." She gave him a sloppy salute.

Rick rolled his eyes and helped her back into the bed and under the blanket. "Quit fooling around and sleep." He told her.

Jamie smirked. "You don't have to tell me twice." She murmured, her eyes already slipping closed.　

Rick stood up and looked down at her. Lori wasn't right. Jamie didn't love him, he was her boss and a simple friend. That was all. She was just loyal, that was who Jamie Craig was. She was loyal to him and she was loyal to... Shane. Kind of. They were pals more than friends. And were colleagues. But he was sure that the two of them wouldn't even socialize with each other if it weren't for him.　

But Jamie wasn't in love with; that was just ridiculous. He shook his head at the thought, Lori was just imagining things.

**tWD**

Jamie found out that Glenn and Hershel's daughter, Maggie, were heading into town for supplies. There was a window in her room and she could make out the place where the group had set up. She saw Lori grab Glenn before he left and handed him a slip of paper, being all secretive about it. Glenn took it nervously before he left with Maggie, who Jamie was sure he was crushing on. Jamie had also seen Lori and Shane together a lot, something that she didn't like the look of.　

Jamie had told Shane, had thought that she made sure that he understood what was to happen. She never liked Lori and now she knew why. She didn't know why she hadn't seen it before. Maybe she hadn't wanted to. Lori had the best guy in the world as her husband, yet she turned to another man — and Shane at that.　

She wasn't saying that Shane was a _bad_ guy and maybe he wasn't. Maybe it was just the fact that compared to Rick, he was. Or maybe that was just in Jamie point of view. But this, him and Lori, that was the biggest no-no in her eyes. She'd told Shane. Told him that she'd rip him more than just a new one. But maybe they had stopped. Maybe they hadn't even begun. Maybe Shane was in love with Lori like Jamie was in love with Rick. But Jamie knew, knew that if it were true, then Shane was the type of guy that would go for it. And Lori, apparently Lori was that type of woman.　

Jamie could get them getting together with the thought that Rick was dead. She got that. But it had only been a month. One month. She didn't know how someone could do that, especially to someone that they loved. A best friend since high school, a husband and the father of your kid.　

It just-- It pissed Jamie off so much! She didn't have anyone. She'd lost both her parents when she was a teenager. She didn't have any brothers or sisters. Not even distant cousins and what have you. No boyfriend... or girlfriend. Didn't have a pet fucking dog, and now she couldn't even dream of being that cat-lady at the end of the block.　

She had nothing and no one. She was in love and that was supposed to be a beautiful thing. And it was. Just that hers was a sort of bitter-sweet kind of love. She got to be around Rick all the time, got to be by his side, assist him, do things for him. But she'd never _be_ with him. Rick was happy and in love, but not with her. But instead with Lori. He was married. He had a son. He was happy. And even if Jamie could never _be_ with Rick, she could live — _and die_ — with the fact that he was happy. And him being happy, equalled him with Lori. Not Lori with Shane. But Lori with Rick. Married, happy... Together.　

So, when she got better. When she was able to stand up without shaking. Go to the bathroom without assistance. Bend and tie her boots without seeing spots. Then, then she would pound the fact that Lori was off limits into Shane's head. She would pound the _shit_ out of that.　

And she knew that she was getting testy, cursing a lot, but that was actually just a good sign.　

**tWD**

Rick had time and again tried to convince Hershel to let the group stay. It was wearing on him, but he was sure it was also wearing on Hershel. He was sure that the older man was finally starting to see the benefits of having the group here.　

Lori, Rick was sure that she was avoiding him. Ever since Glenn and Maggie had returned from town. And her and Shane had been spending a lot of time around each other. Rick didn't know why, but it was bothering him a little. After the talk that they had had, about his 'relationship' with Jamie, it got him thinking. Thinking about things that he never would have thought about before, until now. And they weren't things about Jamie; they were things about Lori and they were things Shane.　

Not separately either.

Rick shook these doubts from his mind. They were useless and needless. They had no purpose. Lori loved him, was committed to him — She was his wife and the mother of his child.　

He headed for Jamie's room.　

She was well enough to go for a walk, a short one at least. She'd gotten a spare shirt and was glad to finally cover herself. She sat up, by now used to the pain in her abdomen. She pushed herself to her feet, wobbling for a moment.　

Rick grasped her elbow and steadied her. "You sure you're up for this?" He asked her.　

"Are you kidding?" She asked. "I've been waiting for this day my entire life."　

"Don't be dramatic."　

"I'm wasting away in here, Rick." Jamie told him. "I need to do something or I'm going to lose it."　

"Well, you're going to do something now." He said. "You're going for a walk."　

Jamie scoffed as she slipped her feet into her boots.　

"Oh, you think you can do more than that?" Rick raised his brows. "Does Wonder Woman have a sister that I never heard of?"　

Jamie snorted but then gasped out, her hand going to her stomach.　

"You can't even laugh without being in pain." He said. "So we're going for a light stroll and then it's back to bed for you. If you ever want to get out of that bed, then you're going to have to take it easy."　

"Fine." Jamie ground out, knowing that Rick was right — he always was.　

Rick let go of her elbow, but stuck close by.

Jamie was fine, but going down those three porch steps was a killer. It jolted her stomach each time; if there was a walker attack at this moment, there was no way that she'd be able to take care of herself, let alone try and run for cover. It pissed her off, being defenceless like this. But she felt comfort with Rick being there at her side, it probably didn't mean much to him, but it meant everything to her.　

"You alright?" He asked her, noticing the crease between her brows.　

She nodded her head and kept on walking. "Is this how you felt?" She asked him.　

"Well, I'd say that you got it worse than I did."　

"I guess," Her lips twitched as she looked at him side-long. "Plus you had two months of recovery before you were thrust back into the world."

"That isn't fair." He crossed his arms.　

"That is totally fair," Jamie returned. "I could've laid in a coma for two months. But I didn't."

Rick shook his head.　

"I bet if I did it would have given you more time to coax Hershel into letting us stay. How is that going by the way?"　

"Is it too late for you to slip into a coma?"　

Jamie whistled. "That bad, huh?"　

"I don't know. I think that he's starting to wear down." He sighed.　

Jamie took his elbow and pulled him to a stop.

"Are you okay?"　

"I'm fine."

Jamie rolled her eyes. Hershel had next to none pain relievers in his possession, so she had started to grow a little of a pain tolerance. "I'm worried about you."　

"Why?"　

"You're stressed the hell out, Rick." She blurted.　

Rick looked at her in surprise. "What makes you say that?" He said anyway even though he was completely stressed.　

"Everything is on your shoulders. You put it there. You're a great leader, Rick; you take everyone as your responsibility. Take all their problems and make them your own. You try to do everything, take care of everything on your own." She let out a breath. "There are people here that can help you, help take the weight off your shoulders. Daryl acts like an SOB, but you know he's a good guy and he wants to help. Shane is your deputy and your friend; he's your second in command. Lori is your wife and you know she'll help you in any way that she can if you let her." It pained her a little to say that about Shane considering what she knew, but maybe she could guilt trip him and Lori into quit screwing around with each other. "Glenn is an all around good guy. I know that you feel like you have to convince Hershel and I think you do. But you know that there are things that you can ask others to help with. It doesn't make you look weak, Rick. You're stupid if you think that." She said blandly.　

Rick cleared his throat at that last part. "You know about everything, don't you?"　

She flashed a grin. "I like to think of it as a special skills setting." She gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder before she started to walk again.

Rick got an odd feeling and he watched her for a second. Jamie did know a lot... About him it seemed. He shook his head. Along with everything else, in the back of his mind he had been obsessing over what Lori had said about Jamie. And he knew that he would only stop if he found out the truth.　

Rick caught up with her. They were silent for the rest of the walk and it wasn't until they were back and Jamie was up the porch steps that he remembered.　

"Hey, Jame?" Rick called.　

Jamie turned. "What's up?"　

"When you were shot, you said that you wanted to tell me something. What was it?"　

"Oh! That." Jamie sorta waved it off. "I kinda thought I was dying, so that's what that was. You don't need to worry about. It was nothing." She went back into the house a grimace on her face. She couldn't believe that she had actually been on the borderline of telling Rick that she loved him. That would have just screwed everything right in the pooch.　

But Rick didn't think that it was nothing. He thought that it was something big.　

**tWD**

It was three more days before Jamie wasn't on bed-rest and it'd be about another week before she got the stitches from her stomach removed. In the meantime, she really needed to have a little chat with Shane.　

He was gathering some wood, alone. A great place if Jamie thought one. It wasn't near the camp and the others were too far away to hear.

"Hey,"　

Shane paused and turned to her. "Well, look who finally decided to come back to the real world."　

Jamie crossed her arms over her chest. Her stomach felt tight at the movement. The pain wasn't what it used to be, but she could feel the stitches perfectly fine. "I need to talk to you."　

Shane hung his head. "Why do I all of a suddenly have a bad feeling about this?" He asked rhetorically.　

"'Cause at the moment I'm your worst nightmare, and I'm going to keep recurring until you fucking listen." She answered anyway.　

"Whoa! When did you get such a mouth?"　

"It made itself known when you ignored what I told you."　

"What are you saying?"　

"Don't try and play stupid, Shane." Jamie glared. "I told you to break off whatever the hell you developed with Lori."　

"I did!"　

"My eyes tell me different."　

"Then your eyes are messed."

"My eyes are fine."　

Shane pursed his lips.　

"Why are you doing this?" She had forced herself to quit yelling. If she yelled, then he yelled and they were going to get nowhere like that.

Shane let out a breath, rubbing his chin. "I think you know."　

"Tell me."　

"I love Lori." He spat. "Just like you love Rick."　

"Well... Quit it!"

"You know I can't. It doesn't work like that."　

"Then make it work."　

"I don't want to."　

"I don't care if you don't."　

"What's so special about him?" Shane demanded. "Don't I deserve to be happy?"

"Everyone deserves to be happy."　

"So it's fine."　

"No. It isn't. They’re married, Shane. They have a son together. They love each other."　

"She loves me. Not him."

"You have to stop this."　

"I don't think I do."　

Jamie stared at him hard and he glared back.　

"He's your best friend!"　

"I can't help who I fall for, just like you. I'm not going to stop and you can't stop me."　

"Shows how much you know." Jamie growled, her eyes full of promised threats and injury.　

Shane grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her back against a tree, holding her there. Jamie's face flooded with pain, the breath leaving her.　

"Heh. There's nothing you can do to me." He told her. "And you should be jumping at an opportunity like this. I take Lori, and you can have Rick all to yourself."

"You're sick." Jamie spat. "Sick in the head."　

"She doesn't want him anymore. Before he was shot, she was going to leave him."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. And I don't get why this is upsetting you. If she left him, then he would have been available to you. But maybe you don't really love him. Maybe you're just infatuated with him 'cause he's the big boss-man with those blue eyes and you can't snatch up a man. You're going to be alone forever. Or maybe Daryl might take you; he seems to have a crush." He said is disgust. He gave her another shove and she winced, before he left her there.　

Jamie wrapped her arms around herself. What was she going to do? For once, she didn't know.　

**tWD**

Rick was sure that he'd finally done it, he might have finally convinced Hershel to let them stay. He had to share the news with Lori, such good news.　

He found her out in the field, leaning against the fence. But as he got closer, he could tell that something big was troubling her.　

"Lori?" He asked softly as he came up behind her, a hand on her back.　

She sucked in a breath and stood up, turning to him with a worried expression.　

"What's wrong?"

Lori pursed her lips for a moment and turned back to the fence.　

"Lori?"　

"Rick... I'm pregnant." She said finally.　

Rick stared at her in shock. He felt that same thrill that he felt when Lori told him that she was pregnant with Carl — that he was going to be a father again. But then came the realization of the world that they were in, that this child would grow up in. But then they wouldn't have to worry about having a home because they had here — they had the safety of the farm.

"That's... That's great news, Lori." Rick told her.　

"How is this great?!" Lori demanded. "Raising a baby in a world where the dead walk around is a death sentence, Rick!"　

Rick grabbed her shoulders. "It's great because I got Hershel to agree to let us stay here with him."　

That calmed Lori down a bit, but she still looked worried and Rick could see guilt in her eyes — and shame.

"There's something else that I need to tell you." She said.　

Rick's forehead creased in concern. "Okay,"　

Lori looked away from Rick, her hands gripping the edge of the fence tight. "It's possible that it's not yours."　

Rick stared at her blankly. "... _What?"_ 　

"I don't think that it's yours, Rick." Lori said.　

Rick looked at her in shock, but this time, this time it wasn't the good kind of shock that he had moments before. This was the shock of his heart starting to break. "W-who?" He asked faintly.　

Lori wrapped her arms over her chest. She swallowed, her mouth dry. "Shane," She told him.　

"Mm." His voice was strained. Strained from the chisel that was in his heart. "How long? How many times?"　

"Five years." Lori forced herself not to look away. "The night before you were shot and the argument that we had, I was going to leave in the morning, but then I got the news that you were injured and were in a coma. And then the virus came. I thought that you were dead and so it was easy to move on with Shane."　

"What about that night? When I came to camp." He felt cold inside. "We made love, that meant nothing to you?"　

"Of course in meant something." Lori said. "I'll always love you, Rick, I'm just not _in_ love with you anymore."　

That was it. She'd betrayed him. Broke his heart. And his best friend. Rick was no longer just cold inside. He was filled with cold anger. All he ever did was love Lori, care for her. He gave himself whole heartedly to her... and this was what he got in return? A broken heart.　

"If you were going to leave me anyway, then why guilt trip because I'm friends with Jamie?!" He demanded. "Are you that much of a bitch that you have to destroy me completely before you kick me to the curb? Make it so that if I even look at another women that I think she's just all tricks."　

Lori looked at him stone-faced. "That's not what that was."　

"Really?!"

"Yes, Rick. What I told you was true, I'm pretty sure that Jamie is in love with you. And I told you so you knew." She tried gently.　

Rick shook his head. He shoved the tears down; he wouldn't cry for her. He would never cry for her. He clenched his hands into fists, trying to control himself. He wouldn't hit a woman, even _her_. Despite the fact that his heart wept.　

"Enjoy your life, living here in safety!" Rick spat. "Just remember to stay the fuck away from me." He stormed off, away from her and away from his lie of a marriage.　

He needed to hit something, _wanted_ to hit something — he wanted to hit _Shane._

**tWD**

Rick didn't make any pit stops on his way from Lori to finding Shane. He went straight from her to him. It didn't matter that Shane was at camp, that the others were around. Their eyes following him. He did gladly note in the back of his mind that Carl and Sophia weren't present; they didn't need to see this.　

There was one thing about being a sheriff; you had to keep a cool head. He was the leader, he had to lead by example. He couldn't allow his feelings to cloud his judgment or control his decisions. He had to think logically for the sake of the others. But this was one thing that he couldn't let go, couldn't let it slide by. He'd been betrayed by all sides; nearly his entire marriage had been a slap, a quarter of his friendship a show.　

He came right up to Shane and used the momentum from his charge to put power into his swing as he punched Shane right in the face. No warning. No words. He vaguely heard some of the group gasp in shock.　

Shane stumbled back from the force. "What the hell, man!" He looked up, his nose bleeding.　

Rick didn't give him a chance and swung again. Shane barely got his arms up in a block before the hit landed. That didn't stop him though, from putting all the anger and heart break into every punch. He landed a lot, Shane gave as good as he got. But for Rick it was over too soon because Daryl, T-Dog and Glenn butted in.　

"Rick!" Jamie shouted. She really wanted to get in there, but with her injury it would just make things worse for her. And she didn't want to do it for Shane's sake, but Rick's.　

T-Dog was holding Shane back, while Daryl and Glenn were holding back Rick. Jamie got between the two, but focused on Rick. His usual blue gaze was not filled with the reasonable man that Rick was, but they were instead burning like dry ice.　

"Rick," She snapped, but he only had sights on Shane.　

He had tunnel vision. Jamie knew that she couldn't slap him to get him attention, his face was destroyed. So she did the next best thing, she flicked his nose. Rick blinked and shook his head, coming to himself. His eyes cleared and he stopped fighting Daryl and Glenn.　

"You good?" She asked.　

Rick swallowed before he jerked his pounding head into a nod.　

"Let him go." She told Daryl and Glenn. They hesitated. "It's fine." She looked at them both. They released Rick and he didn't go all berserk-o. "Good. Now we're going to walk away." She told him gently, leading him away from Shane and the opposite direction in which he came.　

Shane jerked himself from T-Dog's hold and went in the direction that Rick had come, back towards Lori.　

**tWD**

Jamie lead Rick far from the group and doubly far from Shane. Rick let her and when she finally stopped, he dropped to the ground. Jamie let out a slow breath as she sunk down onto her knees next to him. She looked at him, but didn't talk; giving him time — she'd give him as much as he needed, even sitting out here all day.　

He was quiet, his face blank, his eyes staring at nothing. She didn't even have to guess what set him off, she knew. She'd really — _really_ murder Shane... Do it hard and slow.　

"Lori's pregnant." He said hoarsely.　

Jamie was surprised by this little snippet.　

"She betrayed me — with my best friend... I thought he was my best friend." He shook his head, burying his face in his hands. "She was going to leave me the morning that I got shot."　

" _I know_."　

"What?" Rick's head shot up.　

"What?" Jamie repeated. Knowing that a deer in the headlights look was on her face.　

"You said you know." Rick shifted back from her. "Did you know?!"　

Jamie's eyes flickered away for a second before she looked at Rick and nodded her head. "I found about two hours ago."　

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded.　

"I thought that I could fix it." She admitted.　

"You can't just fix a five year fling." He snapped.　

"Five years?" She said in confusion. "I thought that they only started after the virus."　

"Apparently they didn't."　

"I'm sorry." She whispered.　

Then he started to cry. Tears tracked down his bruised and swollen and bloody face. He buried his face in his hands.　

Jamie watched him. This was what she didn't want. Rick was heart broken. Betrayed but the two people who were supposed to care for him the most. This was the reason why Jamie just didn't like Lori and why Shane was nothing compared to Rick.　

**tWD**

Rick could feel everyone’s eyes on him, always following him when he went by. They knew. Everybody knew. They talked when he had his back turned.

He ignored it.　

Tried to ignore it.　

It was difficult.　

Too difficult.　

Everyone expected him to be this great leader. An untouchable, firm leader. But how was he supposed to be that when felt so broken and betrayed? Everything, all this time just felt like it was a big game and he was the sucker. He thought that he knew them, and he thought that they cared for him. He didn't want to sound like a broken record, but he was. He was sure that he was depressed. After everything that had happened... he shook his head. Lori, his wife. Shane, his life-time best-friend. Those were the things that kept him sane, that kept him from going off the deep-end after waking-up to a broken world.　

He thought about that for a second, but it didn't quite seem right. They weren't there when he woke up from his coma. They weren't the ones that saved his life from the walkers. Who helped him get him crutched is the 'new' world. They weren't with him to find Sophia. They weren't the ones that supported his choices for the group. They weren't the ones that helped with the struggles of leadership.　

Actually, there weren't any ' _ones_ ', there was just the ' _one'_. Jamie Craig. She was there when he woke up. She was the one that gave him the crutches to the world. She was the one that saved his life. She was the one that went after Sophia. She was the one who supported his every choice and decision concerning the group. She was the one that took the weight from his shoulders.　

Jamie was the one that kept him sane and kept him caring. She was the one who kept him from the deep-end or over-stepping any lines. Who encouraged him to keep on Hershel. She was the one that tried to save his marriage and his friendship. She tried to save his heart.　

Out of everything, she was the one that cared. She was the only one that stayed true to him. Jamie, Jamie... She was the one, the one that was... That was in _love_ with him.　

Rick squeezed his eyes closed, but winced at the action on his black-eye. Nothing was straight anymore; everything was confused and muddled — misshapen. Out of place. He couldn't trust anything anymore.　

He tried to ignore it. He avoided Shane and he avoided Lori. He'd moved his stuff out from their tent. He tried to stay for Carl, for his son's sake. He was just a kid and didn't deserve anything that was happening 'cause his mother was a bitch and his father's best-friend was a royal bastard. So Rick had tried to stay for him, his _only_ son. But even that wasn't enough. Everything just reminded him — just cracked a fresh egg of _pure pain_ over his exposed heart.　

Rick couldn't take this place, he had to get out — he had to make this just a distant memory.　

 **tWD** 　

Jamie rubbed her abdomen through her shirt as she stepped down from the porch. Hershel had finally removed the stitches. That meant that she was basically healed and didn't have to have her abdomen wrapped. Her _six_ scars weren't as bad as Rick's one. While his was _big_ , she had six, 1 cm wide-spread scars.　

She owed Hershel her life, and Rick too, for carrying her all the way here. She never did thank him for that.　

She'd been way worried about him. Over the past week he'd been withdrawing himself little by little. He'd even been avoiding her. It hurt, more than it was supposed to. So she'd found out too, that Lori was pregnant — with Shane's baby. That bastard. If Jamie could kill anyone, anyone in the world, it'd be Shane Walsh. Home wrecker.　

Jamie found herself where Rick had set up his tent; away from Lori and away from the others.　

"What are you doing?" She demanded.　

"Jesus!" Rick jumped.　

"What do you think you're doing?" Jamie repeated with more force.　

Rick turned to her, stopping his activity. He looked at her. "I'm leaving." He told her, turning back to his things.　

She had a sick feeling. "Why?"

"I can't take it anymore." Rick said, zipping his bag. "They pity my and no longer see me as a strong leader."　

"It’s just gossip, Rick." She tried to reason.　

"No. It's not." He turned to her. "It's the truth. I can't lead these people anymore."　

"So you're just gonna leave?"

"I talked to Hershel, I convinced him to let the others stay even when I'm gone." He shook his head. "They’ll be safe."　"What about Carl?" She asked, a little desperate now.　

A shadow swept across his face for a second. "Despite what Lori did to me, she's still a good mom. Carl's better off here."　

"And what about me?" Jamie said faintly. Her heart was squeezing painfully in her chest and she could feel unbidden tears start to fill her lime gaze.　

"Isn't it obvious?" He raised his brows at her.

She just stared back. This had to be some cruel joke.　

"You're coming with me." He told her like it was obvious. And to him it was. "What's a sheriff without his deputy?"　

Jamie laughed, though it was a bit watery. She felt relief flood through her. She was _obviously_ going with him. Fuck. She'd almost been a complete baboon and broke down crying right there in front of him. How dense was she to think that she'd even stay in this place if Rick wasn't here? She could punch herself right now, but then Rick would start thinking that she really was crazy.　

She'd always go with Rick, whether he wanted it or not.　

* * *

 

_**tWD - Some Time Later – Epilogue:** _

The dead were dead once again.　

Brain-matter destroyed and bodies splayed at the feet of the two survivors. Sweat covered their faces, clothing torn, scraps and bruises scattered their bodies. Both exhausted, but alive and breathing.　

It had been close.　

The walkers had come from nowhere. It was like they were hiding in wait for someone undead to come, before ambushing them. It seemed, as time drew on, they acquired brains that weren't so grey.　

Rick and Jamie had planned on continuing to Fort Benning after the leaving the group and the farm, but soon gave up after coming to the realization the if the CDC couldn't survive and the military was wiped out by brainless walkers, what were the chances?　

Really.　

Come on.　

Jamie stood next to Rick. "For two gun-shot victims I think we did pretty good."　

Rick laughed, gripping her shoulder. "Not bad at all." He agreed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.　

Jamie smirked and Rick kissed her... _Kissed_ her.　

They both seemed to froze.　

He looked at her a little shocked, surprised at his action. But definitely not as surprised as her. She had to have died and went to heaven or something, because she was sure that Rick in the real world never would have done that. And just because she knew that it was more than likely an accident, didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy it a little.　

"Uh, sorry." He told her, taking arm back. Embarrassed.

"I-t-it's okay." She told him, shaking her head and glancing away. She wasn't sorry, not at all.　

"No. You know what?" Rick looked at her. "I'm not sorry."　

Jamie raised her brows.　

Rick's hands were on his belt and he paced what length there was in front of her between the dead walkers. He was nervous. He hadn't done anything like this for nearly fifteen years. Not since he'd met Lori. It felt like he was in high school again. But he didn't get it. He knew Jamie for nearly 10 years, he'd never been nervous around her. But this wasn't just about friendship, this was making what they had into something more. Despite the fact that he knew that Jamie loved him, she could still turn his down.　

"We've known each other for while now--" He started but shook his head. "You and I are friends--" He tried again, but didn't finish.　

Jamie found a flustered Rick kinda... hot. She couldn't help it and decided to put him out of his misery. "I like you too, Rick."　

Rick stopped pacing and looked at her. "Okay, then."　

"It's pretty okay." She grinned at him.　

They looked at each other.

Now that she had what she wanted since Rick was her training officer, she wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge. It still felt unreal, that Rick finally felt this way about her. But she couldn't stand still and bear this anymore. She had to do something with it.　

She stepped up to him, and this time, it was her who kissed him.　

Carnage surrounded them. Walker after walker, dead at their feet. It wasn't the most romantic spot in the world. But it was theirs.

_finito_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> **note: I hope you enjoyed. I wrote it all during my March break. As you have read, it was mostly based on the series' storyline, but there were things that I changed or mixed up.**
> 
> **Jacqui, Ed, Amy, Morales died at the ambush on camp.  
> **  
>  Merle was killed.  
> The CDC self destructed before the group got there.  
> Sophia lived.  
> Otis lived.  
> Jamie was shot instead of Carl.  
> Lori and Shane's affair had history going back five years and continued.  
> The baby isn't Rick's — most definitely.  
> Rick left the group.
> 
>   **Please review!**


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